Hetalia Truth or Dare!
by Principessa Dell'Opera
Summary: In which the reviewer can ask for any truth, or any dare for any character!  Any and everything accepted!  Read and review the awesomeness and GET THE PARTY STARTED!
1. Chapter 1 Let the Fun Begin!

Chapter One:

Let the Fun Begin!

**Jax: **WAZZUUUUUUUP!

**Catherine: **Stop trying to be cool.

**Jax: **But I am!

**Catherine: **Oh please. Just stop narrating what you're writing.

**Jax: **Will doesn't seem to mind.

**Catherine:** O.o Will, how'd you get here?

**Will: **Through the door.

**Catherine: ** O.O

**Jax:** Go bother Selestyna, Will, I'm WRITING! _(strikes a pose)_

**Will: **_(Ignores what Jax just said) _Watcha writing?

**Catherine: ** Don't encourage her!

**Jax: **A truth or dare fic!

**Will, Catherine and randomly appearing Selestyna: **O.O WHAAAAAAAT!

**Jax: **_(all proud-like)_ Yup!

**Catherine: **_(suspicious)_ For which fandom?

**Jax: ** HETALIA!

**Will and Selestyna: **_(die of happiness)_

**Jax: **Yup yup!

**Catherine: **_(annoyed)_ Why are you two here? Go home! _(Will and Selestyna do so by jumping out the window)_ Housing isn't gonna like that.

**Jax: **_(ignores the broken window and Catherine)_ The first chapter stars the Axis and Allied Powers! _(Ludwig, Feliciano, Kiku, Alfred, Arthur, Francis, Ivan, and Yao fall through the ceiling)_ SUP YOU GUYS!

**Catherine: **HOLY SHIT!

**Jax: ** _(sweetly)_ Language, Catherine.

**Catherine: **HETALIA JUST FELL THROUGH THE CEILING AND I'M SUPPOSED TO BE OKAY WITH IT! HOUSING WILL KILL US!

**Jax: **The RA will kill us first if you keep screaming.

**Catherine: **_(shuts up)_

**Francis: **_(sidles up to Catherine's desk) _Perhaps the lady wouldn't mind screaming in another way…_(waggles eyebrows suggestively)_

**Catherine: **Hit on me again and you'll be screaming instead. And not in a good way.

**Francis: **_(pouts and sulks off)_

**Jax: **_(claps hands) _Yay, it's a party!

**Catherine: **I have midterms…

**Jax: **_(shrugs)_ So do I, but you need distractions once in a while, right?

**Catherine: **Kill me now…

**Arthur: **_(picks up Catherine's book)_ _Beowulf_, huh? Marvelous epic, I remember him, too. No sense of personal hygiene, but a good king and fantastic fighter.

**Catherine:** O.O! :-D

**Jax:** Looks like Catherine found her new best friend. _(Looks over at other Hetalia characters who are standing awkwardly)_ ALFRED WHY ARE YOU IN THE FRIDGE!

**Alfred: **_(smiles) _Looking for a burger!

**Catherine: **You won't find anything in there.

**Alfred: **:'(

**Ludwig: **Let's move along, shall we? _(Feliciano nods like a bobble head)_

**Jax: **Okay then! So, wonderful readers who were awesome enough to open and read this, THIS IS THE ORIGINAL HETALIA TRUTH OR DARE! Where you the readers and reviewers can leave a review asking ANY Hetalia character a question, or ask for a dare! _(shifty eyes. Catherine bangs her head on the desk)_

**Feliciano:** Ve, ve! ANYONE!

**Jax: **Yup! Anyone can ask anything. FRANCIS GET OUT OF MY CLOSET! _(Francis looks sad and gets out)_

**Kiku: **_(looks uncomfortable)_ …Anything?

**Jax: **YESSSSSSSS!

**Alfred: **OOOH! OOOH! Ask ME something!

**Catherine: **This is the first chapter! No one's gonna have anything! There aren't any reviews!

**Arthur:** _(is looking through Catherine's bookshelf and not paying attention at all)_

**Yao:** _(edges away from Ivan who's creepy purple cloud is expanding)_ So where are we, anyway?

**Jax: **My dorm!

**Catherine:** OUR dorm.

**Jax: **Same difference.

**Yao: **…It's a bit small…

**Jax: ** Meh, it's college, whaddaya expect?

**Catherine: **If Francis is going to be a regular guest, we need to put him on a leash.

**Jax: **_(curious)_ Why? _(Catherine points) _FRANCIS, GET THE HELL OUT OF MY DRESSER!

**Alfred: **I'LL GET HIM! _(yanks him out and throws him out the window)_ The hero always takes care of any villain!

**Jax: **Congrats. Anyway! All truths and dares are welcome! Just keep it PG-13!

**Ivan: **Why not R?

**Jax: **Because you're creepy and I'll bet some pervert will want someone doing the nasty in here.

**Catherine:** _(dies)_

**Jax:** Alright! Now! All fate lies in you, my wonderful reviewers. Feel free to now submit your various questions and dares. The more ridiculous the better! See you next time!

**Alfred:** Why don't we get to do anything this chapter? _(pouts)_

**Jax: **Oh, fine. Alfred, I dare you to go get me a burger and fries from Five Guys.

**Alfred:** _(pouts more)_What if I don't wanna?

**Catherine: **You're in her story. You have to do as you say. She has all the power. _(Jax grins evilly. Ivan grins evilly. They start an evil grinning war.)_ Jax, do your disclaimer.

**Jax: **Oh yeah! Take it away, Arthur!

**Arthur: **_(looks up from book he was reading)_ Hetalia does not belong to Jax. Or Catherine. Or Principessa Dell'Opera. Neither do the characters. None of them own anything, so sod off.

**Jax:** FELICIANO, STOP JUMPING ON MY BED! NO PASTA PER TE! QUINDI STACCARE!

**Catherine: **Aw, look at you remembering how to speak Italian…

**Feliciano: **_(cries. Ludwig gives him a hug)_

**Alfred: **_(comes back with lots of burgers and lots of fries) _Don't forget to review!

**Jax: **OMG FOOD!


	2. Chapter 2SHOTS SHOTS SHOTSHOTSHOT SHOTS

Chapter Two:

SHOTS SHOTS SHOTSHOTSHOT SHOTS!

**Jax: **…_ (stares intently at her computer)_

**Alfred: **… _(stares intently at Jax's computer)_

**Catherine: **... _(is reading _Paradise Lost _on her bed)_

**Arthur:** ... _(is sitting at Catherine's desk reading her paper on Unferth)_

**Francis: **… _(is gagged, tied up, and blindfolded, stuffed under Jax's bed)_

**Feliciano:** … _(is asleep on the futon in the living room)_

**Ludwig: **… _(is busy writing something)_

_(Jax's computer makes a ding sound; she's got an email. She clicks on it so she and Alfred can read it.)_

**Jax: **AAAAAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHH!

**Alfred: **AAAAAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHH!

_(Catherine falls off her bed in surprise, Arthur jerks so badly he rips a page, Francis begins whining, Feliciano wakes up, and Ludwig keeps writing)_

**Catherine: **WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO! _(Jax is jumping up and down, pointing at the computer screen, her hand clasped over her mouth while she squeals. Alfred is hyperventilating while kissing the computer)_

**Feliciano: ** PASTAAAAAAA!

**Ludwig: **No pasta, Feliciano.

**Feliciano: **_(cries and crawls onto Ludwig's lap. Ludwig just keeps writing)_

**Jax: **_(is still bouncing around)_

**Alfred: **_(is still hyperventilating)_

**Feliciano: **_(is still crying)_

**Catherine: **_(is still pissed) _Will you two PLEASE act your age!

**Arthur:** Alfred! I raised you better than that!

**Jax: **I GOT A REVIEW I GOT A REVIEW I GOT A REVIEW! OMG!

**Catherine: **_(is curious, and goes to look)_ This dare is for Francis! _(reads the dare as Alfred drags Francis out from under the bed) _Get a load of this name! WhalesAreTasty! _(laughs hysterically) _Good thing Selestyna isn't here to see that!

_(somewhere in Rhode Island, Selestyna has burst into tears and collapses)_

**Jax: **Read what it says!

**Catherine: **Let's see… _**Woah, first to review! Mmm'kay, err, I dare Francis to streak to Switzerland's house and dance naked there. And then kiss Liech. You gunna get shot :)**_ _(Catherine starts laughing hysterically again) _FRANCIS, YOU'RE FUCKED!

**Francis: **_(drains of all color, but whips off his clothes)_

**Everyone: **AUGH GOD! NOOOOO! _(Catherine passes out, and Ludwig puts away his notebook)_

**Francis: **_(smiling like a pedophile) _I look good in the nude, non?

**Everyone: **NO!

**Francis: **Now where do I go?

**Ludwig: **_(boots him out the window)_ To Vash's house, you _dummkopf_.

**Jax: ** _(ecstatic) _Check out Ludwig calling people names!

**Catherine: **How are you gonna know if he did it or not?

**Jax: **_(grins evilly. Ivan gave her lessons.) _Where do you think Yao has been this entire time?

**Catherine: **_(slumps against her desk. Arthur pats her shoulder comfortingly)_ Oh, dear Lord, no.

**Jax:** Catherine, don't lie, you wanna see this happen as much as everyone else does.

**Catherine: **To see Francis starkers? You have GOT to be kidding.

**Jax: **No, watch Vash shoot him!

**Catherine:** _(brightens) _Yes! _(everyone runs out to the living room) _We had to get a trailer to handle having all these people over here all the time.

**Jax: **Don't complain! We have a kitchen, a full bathroom, two bedrooms, a living room, and dining area! It's AWESOME! And it's all for the two of us!

**Catherine:** _(snorts in unlady-like way) _No, there's ten of us. For some reason, the Axis and Allied Powers moved in with us.

**Jax: **It's like a huge slumber party!

**Catherine: **_(scowls) _Who's sleeping! You and Alfred make enough noise with the Xbox as it is without the Perverted Frog or Pasta Head over there!

**Alfred: **_(turns on the TV, and they see Francis skipping around Vash's front yard, singing off-key, and throwing rose petals everywhere) _CHECK IT OUT, DUDE!

**Kiku: **_(nosebleeds and starts writing something down very fast)_

**Feliciano: **_Guarda, guarda_! Francis has a small penis! _(everyone looks at him, then burst into hysterical laughter. Alfred runs to the bathroom, Arthur starts crying he's laughing so hard, Jax is hiccupping, Ludwig is turning purple, Feliciano is completely unaware of what he has just said.)_

**Jax: **Oh, look! Vash saw! _(starts munching on popcorn. Alfred helps himself) _GET YOUR OWN!

**Vash: ** WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE, BUTT-ASS NAKED? OUT! _OUT!_ _(he breaks out his gun and starts shooting while Francis skips away, still singing. Vash jumps out the window in hot pursuit.)_

**Lilli: **_(looks out the window after Vash) _Big Brother, what's going on?

**Francis: **AHA, MON CHERIE! _(jumps up to the window where Lilli is. She blushes and tries to back away, averting her gaze. Francis grabs her wrist and drags her closer. Lilli looks too terrified to do anything except close her eyes.) _Ah-hon-hon-hon! You are all ready for me? Well, _donnez-moi un baiser, puis_! _(he grabs her face and kisses her on the mouth.)_

**Everyone: **OH! MY! GOD! PEDOPHILE! _(Jax passes out, Catherine spits water out her nose, Alfred breaks the microwave, Arthur drops his book, Feliciano shuts up, Ludwig gapes like a fish, and Kiku drains of color. Yao walks in)_

**Yao: **So, what'd I miss, aru?

**Everyone: **_(points wordlessly at the TV. Yao falls over)_

**Vash: **WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING TO MY SISTER? _(he cracks the butt of his rifle against the back of Francis's head, and drags him away, pissed to high hell. Lilli looks scarred for life.)_

**Jax: **_(wakes up. The awkward silence continues) _Well…that was fun! Seeing Vash beat Francis's ass, I mean. _(There's a murmur of consent.)_

**Catherine: **Can we make him put on his clothes, now?

**Arthur: **Oh bloody hell, please do!

**Francis: **_(stumbles in, looking like he got run over by Hell)_ I have returned victorious!

**Jax: **Oh, shut up. Go put on your clothes. If you don't, I think I should give Vash our address. _(smiles evilly)_

**Catherine: **_(has a sudden revelation)_ JAX! THAT'S THE MOVIES ON THE MALL STREAKER!

**Everyone except Jax: **?

**Jax: **OMG YOU'RE RIGHT! _(is now horrified. Francis goes and puts on his clothes, putting the blindfold in his pocket for later.)_

**Ludwig:** Sooo…is that it?

**Jax: **Hell no! I'm gonna go print them out! _(does so.) _Kiku! Read the next one!

**Kiku: **_(bows)_ Arigatou, Jax-san. _(takes the paper and reads where Jax is pointing)_ This is from Supreme Meep. _(begins reading tentatively)_ _**Hm... I'd like to dare Alfred to kiss Arthur. On the lips. For at least ten seconds (more would be great, though~). It's not exactly the most original thing ever, but at least it won't get anyone hurt, etc. ^^;**_ _(Kiku's eyes widen, and he starts looking for his camera. Alfred snorts so soda comes out of his nose, and Arthur turns red)_

**Jax: **_(starts laughing uncontrollably.) _WE HAVE A YAOI FANGIRL!

**Catherine: **Jax, there's gotta be tons of yaoi fangirls reading this.

**Jax: **O.o Good point!

**Arthur: **_(stuttering angrily) _Are you—Is the—I have to—WHAT!

**Alfred: **_(is eyeing Arthur) _Do I gotta?

**Jax: **Rule number one! The reviewer is always right! _(laughs hysterically)_

**Arthur: **I have to kiss HIM? That annoying little twat?

**Jax: **_(nods enthusiastically) _Yup!

**Feliciano: **Bacio! Bacio! Bacio! _(bounces excitedly in Ludwig's lap. Ludwig blushes a little.)_

**Arthur: **W—well…

**Alfred: **I mean it's just one kiss…

**Arthur: **…If I must—

**Alfred: **How bad could it be? _(They both blush. Kiku is ready with the camera)_

_(Alfred walks hesitantly over to Arthur, who now resembles a tomato. Catherine helps herself to some of Jax's popcorn. Ludwig covers Feliciano's eyes. Alfred cradles Arthur's face in his hands, and leans down. They start kissing, and Arthur pulls Alfred closer, so Alfred wraps his arms around Arthur's waist, and Arthur grabs Alfred's tie and pulls him deeper into the kiss. Jax is watching her watch.)_

**Jax: **And ten seconds are up. _(Arthur and Alfred don't seem to hear, and are now in the middle of a hot and heavy make-out session)_ Meh, they look happy. Let's keep going then. _(Ignores Alfred slamming Arthur into the wall and undoing his shirt)_ Okay! Ludwig, read the next one!

**Ludwig: **_(tears his eyes away from Arthur who has turned Alfred around and pinned his arms to the wall. They're still kissing) _Alright. This is from One with many questions. _(clears his throat. Everyone ignores the making out US and UK, and turns to hear the new dare. Arthur and Alfred are both shirtless now) __**USA: If dare; I dare you to tickle UK. If truth; How do you feel about the American Civil War? Japan: If dare; I dare you to claim Korea's  
breasts next time you see him. If truth; Do you ever make doujinshi of Germany  
and Italy? France: If dare, I dare you to eat UK's cooking :D If  
truth; How do you feel about the law in your country that prohibits muslim  
women from wearing their religuos head scarf?**_ Erm, what? _(everyone turns to look at Arthur and Alfred. They're still "having fun".)_

**Jax: **_Oye_! You two! Get a room! Preferably the empty one! _(Arthur wraps his legs around Alfred and they head to the other bedroom) _Well, this will get embarrassing. _(Noises start coming out of the room) _Okay, okay. _(Goes and knocks on the door.) _ HEY ALFRED! YOU'VE BEEN DARED TO TICKLE ARTHUR!

**Alfred: **_(is panting) _I'm about to "tickle" him with my—

**Feliciano: **PASTAAAAAAAA!

**Everyone: **_(starts laughing at the look on Jax's face)_

**Catherine: **You totally had that coming, Jax.

**Jax: **Let's just ask when they're done, yes? _(goes and sits down awkwardly)_

**Catherine: **Well, we could do the rest of it while we are waiting for the other two. Kiku?

**Kiku: **_(looks like he wants to sink into the floor) _Hai, Catherine-san… _(reluctantly stands up. Yong Soo falls through the ceiling.)_

**Catherine: **AGAIN WITH THE CEILING! _(everyone looks expectantly at Kiku who sighs. Yong Soo smiles benignly.)_

**Kiku: **Um…Yong Soo-san…

**Yong Soo: **_(keeps smiling) _Yes, my Kiku? _(stares at Kiku's moobs. Kiku takes a deep breath, and launches at Yong Soo, groping him. Yong Soo falls over, and everyone starts cracking up.)_

**Kiku: **Y-Your breasts belong to me! _(turns bright red, and tries to let go when he's done saying so. But Yong Soo is excited)_

**Yong Soo: **REALLY! YOUR BREASTS BELONG TO ME! _(starts feeling Kiku up. Kiku looks like he's going to cry.)_

**Jax: **Kiku! You have a truth to answer!

**Kiku: **_(is completely embarrassed. Goes under the sink in the kitchen, and pulls out four large stacks of doujinshi. All of Germany and Italy. Ludwig drains of color while Feliciano bounces over to look through it.) _H-hai, I have made m-many doujinshi of them. I-I like the p-pairing. _(A very awkward silence follows. Suddenly Feliciano stands up and runs to Ludwig with one of the books)_

**Feliciano: **_Guarda_, Ludwig! Why haven't you done that to me yet? _(shows Ludwig the page. Ludwig starts to look like a rutabaga.) _ We should try it next time!

**Catherine: **_(is scarred for life.)_

**Everyone else: **_(is trying not to laugh at poor Ludwig, but it's getting difficult.)_

**Jax: **Hey, I have a question. When did all that doujinshi get under the sink? _(Kiku mumbles something about needing a place to hide it. Suddenly yelling comes from the other bedroom, then everything is silent.)_

**Catherine: **I think they're done. YOU TWO BETTER DISINFECT THAT ROOM!

**Alfred: **_(is heard through the wall) _That was AWESOME! _(sound of Arthur kicking Alfred's ass) _OW! Hey!

**Jax: **Well, when they get out, we can continue! HEY, HURRY YOUR ASSES UP!

**Arthur and Alfred: **_(stumble out of the room, looking sheepish and satisfied, thankfully with their pants on. Their shirts are elsewhere.)_

**Catherine: **Alfred, you've been dared to tickle Arthur.

**Alfred: **_(brightens) _Allrighty, then! _(launches towards Arthur who's looking for his shirt. Begins tickling Arthur, but Arthur kicks him in the face. Alfred looks sad, rubbing his cheek)_

**Arthur: **DON'T YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT IT, WANKER! _(Alfred pouts)_

**Jax: **You also had a truth!

**Alfred: **_(is curious, and looking for his shirt) _Really?

**Arthur: **_(is now fully dressed, and reading his book again. Francis is eyeing him lustfully, and Arthur is ignoring him completely. Yong Soo starts feeling Francis's chest.)_

**Jax: **Yup! One with many questions wants to know how you felt about your Civil War!

**Catherine: **_(sidles closer with a notebook to take notes)_

**Jax: **Catherine, what are you doing?

**Catherine: **Taking notes. Unlike some people, I have classes I do homework for!

**Alfred: **_(looks kinda sad) _Schizophrenic and suicidal.

**Everyone else: ** O.O

_(awkward silence)_

**Jax: **Aaaaaand it's Francis's turn again! Eat Arthur's cooking! _(laughs sadistically. Francis tears up, Alfred rolls on the floor, lol'ing, Arthur stands up, looking evilly happy. Feliciano sits up, hearing the word _cooking_)_

**Feliciano: **Pasta?

**Jax: **NO PASTA! BAD ITALY! SIT! _(Feliciano wiggles farther onto Ludwig's lap. Ludwig looks uncomfortable)_

**Arthur: **_(dons an apron)_

**Jax: **o.O Where'd the apron come from?

**Arthur: **Do you have any ingredients?

**Catherine: **Watcha making?

**Arthur: **Steak and kidney.

**Francis: **_(dry heaves. Jax points and laughs at him.)_

**Alfred: ** AND YOU HAVE TO EAT IT ALL, FROGGIE PANTS! _(cracks up)_

**Jax: **Hey, where's Ivan? I haven't seen him all chapter. _(everyone looks around. No Ivan. Arthur opens fridge for whatever he needs. He blasts through the roof, screaming.)_

**Arthur: **! _(Ivan smiles from where he is curled up in the fridge.)_

**Ivan: ** Hello.

**Jax and Catherine: **FUCKING CREEPER!

**Catherine: **GET THE HELL OUT OF THE FRIDGE! _(drags him out by the scarf. Then let's go when she realized who she was dragging around.)_

**Will: **_(comes in with a bag of groceries for Arthur who looks morbidly happy) _ Hey, Jax.

**Jax: **WILL! _(glomps Will who doesn't move or react. Hands groceries to Arthur. Arthur gets to work.)_

**Will: **Jax, you're going to wrinkle my uniform.

**Alfred: **HE'S A MARINE! _(also glomps Will. Will is still stoically serious.)_

**Will: **Yes.

**Arthur: **_(has a plate full of steak and kidney) _Dinner, Francis. _(grins)_

**Francis: **_(cries as he picks up his fork)_

**Ludwig: **This will be good. _(takes out a video camera. Feliciano looks disgustingly fascinated)_

**Everyone: **_(stares as Francis takes a bite. Francis drains of color and heaves. Arthur looks heartbroken, but everyone else start ROTFLMAOing.)_

**Jax: **I love this job.

**Catherine: **I don't. I have class tomorrow, the club, the EVENTS for the club, responsibilities for the club and classes, and a deadline for an internship coming up!

**Jax: ** _(to Francis who is forcing English food down his throat) _Oh, walk it off, you Mary Sue!

**Francis: **_(is dying) _I need wine…

**Will: **_(looks in the fridge) _There's only tequila.

**Jax and Catherine: **DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH THE TEQUILA!

**Ludwig: **As fascinating as this is, _(Francis is heaving) _I have work to do.

**Catherine: **Yeah, tell me about it…

**Alfred: **Nope! Jax, can I read the next one!

**Jax: **Francis hasn't answered his truth yet!

**Francis: **_(is deathly pale, and clutching his stomach) _Mon cheres, the women there are so beautiful, why would they want to cover their heads with scarves because of religion? _(a shocked silence follows.)_

**Will: **_(punches Francis in the back of his head, making Francis faceplant into the table) _You are such an asshole. Jax, I'll be right back. _(slings Francis over his shoulder, and heads outside.)_

**Jax: **He even finished the steak and kidney! Cool!

**Catherine: **_(is panicking) _Jax! Go stop Will!

**Jax: **_(looks out the window) _Aw, why? He looks like he's having fun beating the shit out of Francis out there. If only Vash were here…

**Alfred and Arthur: **_(head outside to "help" Will)_

**Catherine: **BECAUSE YOUR BROTHER IS NOT ALLOWED TO MURDER A COUNTRY!

**Jax: **Oh, fine. I'll call him off. _(sticks her head out the window) OYE_! WILL! KEEP THE FROGGY PERVERT ALIVE, OKAY! _(Yong Soo creeps up on her, about to grab her chest) _Yong Soo, if you touch me I swear I will not be held responsible for what Will does to you! _(Yong Soo goes and feels up Feliciano instead, who seems to enjoy it.)_

**Will: **_(pulls Arthur and Alfred off of Francis too) _Kay.

**Alfred: **CAN I READ THE NEXT ONE NOW, PLEASE!

**Jax: **_(gives him the paper) _Knock yourself out!

**Francis: **Oui, please do. _(rubs his throbbing jaw)_

**Alfred: **Yay! Okay. This is from Hosiko13! _(clears his throat) __**Shiko here! Hello people!**_

**Everyone: **HELLO, SHIKO!

**Alfred: **_(continues) __***First up, the Axis powers.* Italy: Italy, I dare you to. . . hmm. . . oh! Dye your white flags green! Germany: Is it true you like Italy? Japan: I dare you to. . . Paint a circle on China's forehead! Random, I know. *Now for the Allies.* Russia: I dare you to teach me Russian! :D America: I dare you to eat fruit and nothing but fruit for twenty-four hours! China: Umm. . . I dare you to make tea, and give me a cup of it. England: I dare you to loan me your spell book. France: I dare you to give up being a pervert for the same amount of time as America eats fruit. Lastly…Hey, is Canada here? o.o **_Who?

**Catherine: **Canada. Matthew. YOUR BROTHER.

**Alfred: **I have a brother? O.O SINCE WHEN!

**Catherine: **He's been standing in the kitchen talking with Will.

**Everyone else: **WHAT! _(check the kitchen. Matthew is standing there having a polite conversation with Will)_

**Feliciano: **Does he have pasta! _(is hopeful)_

**Will: **No pasta. I'd rather a taco.

**Feliciano: **_(attaches himself to Ludwig and cries)_

**Jax: ** He's gonna dry up soon like a prune because he's been crying so much. Hey, Feliciano, you have to dye your flags!

**Feliciano: **_(looks sad) _But if they're not white…

**Catherine: **You can use a Sharpie! _(bribe, bribe. Feliciano's face lights up like a Christmas tree)_

**Feliciano: **YAAAAAAAAAAAY! _(starts coloring)_

**Jax: **LUDWIG! _(everyone turns to stare at Ludwig. He starts blushing) _Now for your truth!

**Ludwig: **_(starts stuttering something in German that no one else understands) _J-ja, I like Feliciano… _(seems to immediately regret saying so.)_

**Feliciano: **LUDWIG! _(glomps Ludwig, and kisses him straight on the mouth. Ludwig is now the color of Valentine's Day. But he kisses Feliciano back anyway)_

**Jax: **Awww, well doesn't that just make you wanna kick a puppy…

**Catherine: **Wtf! Are you a fucking homophobe!

**Jax: **No, I'm just not a romantic, and that right there, my friend, was pure, unadulterated hopelessly romantic FLUFF!

**Alfred: **Don't be dissing the fluff!

**Catherine: **Kiku, your turn.

**Kiku: **I do not have any paints with me.

**Jax: **_(Steals Feliciano's Sharpie since he and Ludwig are "busy") _ Here, use this.

**Yao: **THAT'S PERMANENT! ARU!

**Jax: **_(all innocent-like) _And?

_(Yao groans, and Kiku draws a huge circle on his forhead, using a compass to make sure it's a perfect circle. Jax, Alfred, Arthur, Ivan, and Yong Soo start laughing.)_

**Alfred: **It could have been sooo much worse and you treat it like it was torture! _(keeps lol'ing)_

**Kiku: **_(retreats to his doujinshi)_

**Yao: **_(starts trying to rub it off)_

**Jax: **IVAN! You know what to do! _(Shiko falls in through the ceiling) _Popular entryway, that.

**Catherine: **_(starts sobbing. Matthew attempts to console her quietly)_

**Shiko: **OMG I LEARN RUSSIAN! _(does a jig)_

**Ivan: **_(creepy smile, and sidles up to Shiko. Shiko looks at Ivan warily.)_

**Jax: **No backing out of this one, Shiko! You asked for it. _(hugs Shiko) _ It was nice knowing you.

**Shiko: **_(looks scared as Ivan drags her off)_

**Jax: **Oh Catherine, get a hold of yourself! It's just a ceiling!

**Catherine: **WE HAVE TO PAY FOR DAMAGES AT THE END OF THE SEMESTER!

**Jax: ** Nah. We'll mug Francis. _(Catherine brightens. Francis pouts.)_

**Francis: **Only if I get something in return, mon amour…

**Jax and Catherine: **_(look at each other and grin evilly) _Okay! _(Jax retreats to the kitchen, and Catherine backs Francis into a wall, smiling seductively.)_

**Catherine: **How's this? Now close your eyes. _(Francis does so. Jax returns with a bottle. They dump it in his mouth.)_

**Jax: **I LOVE BEING MEXICAN!

**Francis: **_(starts dying from Tabasco sauce OD. Alfred laughs so hard he cries.)_

**Jax: **Next dare! Haha! ALFRED YOU CAN'T EAT ANYTHING BUT FRUIT! _(starts to cry.) _MAY I JOIN YOU!

**Alfred: **I don't WANNA eat just fruit! I'll die without a hamburger. _(Arthur rolls his eyes. Eats a bisuit.)_

**Jax: **I want my entire diet to consist of fruit!

**Catherine: **If you two don't stop whining I'll pour the rest of the Tabasco down your throat and make you digest it with lemon-flavored vodka! _(Alfred shoves a pineapple down his throat. Skin and all)_

**Yao: **All I gotta do is make tea, aru? I'll get right to work, aru. _(makes the tea and looks around) _Where's Shiko, aru?

**Jax: **Ivan took her hostage. Good luck finding her. _(hugs Yao) _It was nice knowing you. _(Catherine rolls her eyes as Yao wanders off. Ludwig and Feliciano are now cuddling on the futon as Feliciano colors his flags. Alfred is crying as he eats a mango.) _Arthur, you have to loan Shiko your spellbook. _(Arthur spits out his tea in surprise.)_

**Arthur: **Very well. It won't work for her, I hope she knows it.

**Catherine: **Really? Why?

**Arthur: **Only people who have seen and believe can work the magic.

**Jax: **Harry Potter? _(Arthur freaks.)_

**Arthur: **Piss off, would you! There's no way I'm lending it to anyone! ESPECIALLY if they've read Harry Potter!

**Jax: **THE REVIEWER IS ALWAYS RIGHT! _(Arthur is stricken, and morosely takes his spellbook. Catherine gives him a hug. Arthur sadly heads in the direction Yao went in.)_

**Catherine: **Now for my favorite dare this entire chapter.

**Jax: **Hey, what happened to Will?

**Catherine: **He's talking to Matthew.

**Jax: **Who?

**Catherine: **Never mind. FRANCIS, YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO BE A PERVERT FOR TWENTY-FOUR HOURS! _(is so excited she has to sit and breathe out of a paper bag. Francis is devastated.)_

**Francis: **But…

**Jax: **Can he hold an intelligent conversation?

**Catherine: **O.O Good question…_(Yong Soo fondles Francis comfortingly. Will and Matthew enter the room, see Francis and Yong Soo, then walk back out. Shiko, Ivan, Yao, and Arthur return. Shiko looks completely braindead.)_

**Shiko: **Great book, England. Thanks for lending it to me. _(hands teacup to Catherine.) _My favorite part was when Ivan told me how to say "Fu—"

**Catherine: **Shiko, you need some help. And sleep. Lots of both. _(leads Shiko to her and Jax's room as Shiko continues rambling in Russian and English)_

**Jax: **THANKS FOR THE DARES, SHIKO! Alright, who wants to read the next ones?

**Will: **Canada does.

**Jax: **Who? _(Will gives her A Look) _Right. Here, Matthew!

**Matthew: **_(reads quietly) _This is from nydia-sama. Ahem. _**... i agree with ivan. why not r? *is the pervert you spoke of 3* but FIEN, i'll keep it kiddy-safe 3 hmm... i choose you, ludwig, my pesky little german, to do me this truth~ (**____**) so we all know you're a bdsm fanatic (don't try to deny it o3o everyone already knows it's word of god). do you ever have these kinds of thoughts about any of the axis/allies, and if so which ones and can you please give details? (see, i'm nice and only made this ONE truth and said "please") grazie, wonderful authoress! you're awesome and i already know i'm gonna lurve this story (and will probably constantly post stuff *coughcough* as long as i'm not killed by stupid college DX) also, gimme some of yo food, jax and alfred! i've never been to five guys (there's one close by my campus, too _ *is lazy*) is it good? ps: franciiiiiiiis! someone go get him! D8 omgwtfbbq, there's is no REAL hetalia truth or dare without our token perverti sexuel~! *mumble* stupid alfred D **__(Matthew turns white after reading it.)_

**Jax: **Thank you, nydia-sama for your nice words. Don't let college work you too hard! And we will try to do the same. _(Jax snorts) _Becuz Catherine's totally chill about the entire thing.

**Catherine: **_(comes out of the room where she put a brainless Shiko to bed.) _ I heard that, Jax. Anyway, those two lovebirds better be interrupted so that Ludwig can answer his truth.

**Jax: **HEY LUDWIG! _(Ludwig flinches. He heard the truth. He sloooowly turns around to look at Jax. Jax smiles sweetly.) _BDSM, huh Ludwig? Kinky stuff. Go on! Detail your fantasies for nydia-sama!

**Ludwig: **_(gulps)_ F-Feliciano…

**Feliciano: **_(is completely shameless) _ Yup! Last time he blindfolded me and tied me to a chair! He had a whip and everything! It was BELLISSIMO!

**Jax: **Oh shit…

**Catherine: ** Dios mio, I can go the rest of my life NOT KNOWING ALL OF THIS!

**Jax: **But Catherine, he has to keep going! _(Catherine bangs her head against the wall. Alfred is paying close attention, and Francis is trying not to stare at Arthur's ass.)_

**Ludwig:** I've not really thought of anyone else in that way. Although a whip would be good to beat some sense into Gilbert…

**Everyone else: **O.o …

**Feliciano: **Tell them what we wanted to try next time! _(Ludwig blushes crimson)_

**Jax: **Oh God, Feliciano really gets into this doesn't he?

**Feliciano: **And the roleplay! _(Ludwig looks like he wants to die)_ The time before last was master and slave! And before that was pirate and prisoner _(Arthur perks up his ears, and Alfred grins, swallowing a piece of watermelon)_, and before that he had a riding crop and chained me to the bed, and used his scary looking knife to rip my clothes off! And he held a gun to my head when he climbed on top of me and started to— _(Ludwig slaps a hand over Feliciano's mouth, blushing so hard his head might explode. Feliciano keeps talking through Ludwig's hand, unaware of the awkwardness.)_

**Jax: **_(her hands over her ears)_ Ludwig, you've been screwing Feliciano BEFORE you admitted you liked him! _(everyone stares at him)_

**Ludwig: **N-no. I confessed to him a long time ago. I just never bothered to tell anyone else. It's not their business. _(Feliciano is still detailing their sex life into Ludwig's hand)_ My one fantasy is to have him dressed in black leather and handcuffed to a BDSM swing. Gagged and ready. No lubrication.

**Everyone else: **_(dead or dying. Or getting ideas)_

**Jax: **ARE YOU HAPPY NOW, NYDIA-SAMA! _(Arthur and Alfred are exchanging glances)_ Okay, I'm reading the next one. This is from Tea-PartyCrasher. Oh boy. _**Ooooh! A Truth or Dare fic...MWHAHAHAHAHAHA!..*ahem*..Well, here I go! 1. I dare Francis to...eat Arthur's cooking! (That's for going through other peoples drawers. Seriously, that's rude.) 2. Arthur, truth! You seemed to get paired with a lot of countries. Any preferences? 3. Alfred, dare! I dare you to...sit still and not talk for 5 minutes...cause I don't know if you can do it. 4. Kiku, truth! Are you a secret otaku cosplayer? And that's all I can think of for right now. Expect more...maybe. And be I go, I bestow gifts to the Allies and Axis. *bestows gifts of food and joy***_ Okay, this isn't too bad!

**Catherine: **This ought to be good. IF IT WASN'T ONE IN THE MORNING!

**Jax: **Chill, Catherine. The more time you spend bitching, the less time we have to finish. _(Catherine grumbles.)_ Alright. ARTHUR, get your apron, Francis is still hungry! _(Francis looks like he's going to die, Arthur looks happier than ever. Will leaves to get more groceries)_

**Francis: **_Jacqueline_, mon amour, please don't make me eat it! _(Arthur looks hurt)_

**Jax: **_(is so mad she might have an aneurism. Punches Francis in the face) _You're totally eating that for calling me Jacqueline. That's not my name.

**Stereo: **_That's not my name / That's not my name / That's not my name / That's not my name / They call me quiet / But I'm a riot / Mary, Jo, Lisa / Always the same…_

**Jax: **_(is amused) _Who turned that on? _(Alfred is giggling next to her iHome) _That, Alfred was great timing.

**Arthur: **Is your name really Jacqueline? _(Will comes back and hands ingredients to Arthur)_

**Jax: **No, actually it's not. I'm not telling you my real name because I don't like it. I go by Jax, and that's it.

**Francis: **_(has resigned himself to being emo. Arthur is almost done)_

**Catherine: **So what are you making?

**Arthur: **Blood pudding. _(Everyone blanches. Arthur looks even more hurt. Francis is holding his stomach)_ And it's done.

**Everyone: **_(is starting to feel bad for Francis)_

**Francis: **_(begins to eat, looking nauseous)_

**Catherine: **We are gonna have to fumigate this trailer…

**Arthur: **_(retreats to an emo corner)_

**Francis: **_(is inhaling the blood pudding as fast as he can)_

**Everyone except Arthur: **_(is completely disgusted and trying not to hurl.)_

**Francis: **_(finishes, and runs to the kitchen sink where he drinks water out of the tap.)_

**Alfred: **Oh God.

_(awkward silence)_

**Jax: **NEXT! Arthur, your truth!

**Arthur: **_(thinks carefully) _I seem to be paired with Francis, Gilbert, Alfred, and Antonio the most. Needless to say, the one pairing I hate the most is Francis. Mostly because it's unlikely, I've never liked the man, and he's completely incompetent. Gilbert is annoying and self-centered, but once his ego is deflated he can hold intelligent conversations, but I think taking our relationship beyond cordial is rather a stretch. Alfred, as you might already have guessed, is the one I like being paired with the most, even though he's obnoxious and exceedingly thick. But he's kind, thoughtful, and has his moments, besides the fact that I raised him. I suppose that's one of the reasons I'm so fond of him. And Antonio is rather unlikely since we never really seemed to get along, and he never forgave me Queen Katherine of Aragon, or his Spanish Armada, though we can be civil to each other. Not to mention his love for Lovino. Is that sufficient?

**Jax: **Arthur, you're awesome. _(Alfred hugs Arthur who looks embarrassed but pleased. Francis didn't hear the slander, since he's still pumping himself full of water.)_

**Catherine: **I think that one was the best we've had. Truth-wise at least.

**Jax: **Agreed. Alright, who's next. ALFRED!

**Alfred: **You called? _(strikes a hero pose)_

**Jax: **You have to sit and be quiet for five minutes! _(Alfred's jaw drops)_

**Alfred: **HUH?

**Catherine: **Here's a chair. _(Alfred sits, looking like a lost puppy.)_

**Jax: ** Your dare starts…now. _(watches her watch like a hawk. Alfred is sitting, grinning like a fool. Everyone else is staring at Alfred, completely shocked.)_

**Arthur: **Is this actually happening?

**Ludwig: **This is a miracle!

**Catherine: **I didn't think he had it in him!

**Jax: **Two minutes and thirty seconds. Your time is half done. _(Alfred is still smiling, smirking almost)_

**Kiku: **It is strange to see Alfred-san being so quiet. Even when he sleeps he is loud. His snoring shakes his entire house.

**Catherine: **Tell me about it. Jax snores like a powerboat.

**Jax: **I DO NOT! A minute left.

**Will: **She does.

**Jax: **I don't want to hear it! You snore like a frickin lawnmower! A lawnmower next to my head! And your room is on the other side of the house!

**Will: **You should hear the barracks.

**Jax: **Five, four, three, two, one. HOLY SHIT, HE DID IT!

**Alfred: **HELL YEAH! _(jumps up and starts dancing)_

**Catherine: **That…was really impressive.

**Arthur: **I didn't believe he had it in him.

**Jax: ** Awesome. Where's Kiku? _(spots Kiku putting the doujinshi back under the sink that Francis seems desperate to drown in) _Kiku, this one won't hurt!

**Kiku: **If you say so…

**Jax: **Are you a secret otaku cosplayer?

**Kiku: **_(gives her a look)_ I make doujinshi. My country is where cosplay began.

**Catherine: **So that means…?

**Kiku: **_(blushes)_ Hai. I enjoy cosplaying.

**Jax: **_(is yelling to be heard over Alfred's one man party)_ As what?

**Kiku: **Depends on my mood. Last time, I went as Kira.

**Jax: **O.O!

**Catherine: **Oh, look! Tea-PartyCrasher gave us food and joy! _(food and joy pour from the ceiling. Escargot and wine for Francis, Grimm's Fairy Tales and Earl Grey tea for Arthur, a gift card to McDonalds and star-spangled boxers for Alfred, dumplings and green tea for Yao, new handcuffs and new whip for Ludwig, pasta and black leather for Feliciano, Russian teacakes and vodka for Ivan, earplugs and video editing software for Catherine, weights and enchiladas for Will, manga and rice cakes for Kiku, sheet music and whiskey for Jax. Everyone starts yelling happily at once.)_

**Jax: **I LOVE YOU TEA-PARTYCRASHER! YOU HAVE NO IDEA!

**Ivan: **Who wants to do shots?

**Jax and Alfred: **ME!

**Catherine: **Oh dear Lord. Jax, I am NOT nursing you through a hangover.

**Jax: **Okay! _(Ivan starts pouring shots, and they start counting. Everyone watches the drinking contest interestedly.)_

**Stereo: **_When I walk in the club all eyes on me / I'm with the party-rock-crew, all drinks are free / We like Ciroc, we love Patrone / We came to party rock, everybody it's on! / SHOTS SHOTS SHOTSHOTSHOT SHOTS SHOTS SHOTSHOTSHOT SHOT SHOTS SHOTSHOTSHOT SHOTS, everybody!_

**Will: **First one that can't sing the chorus loses. _(Jax, Alfred, and Ivan are on shot four)_ This will get interesting.

**Jax and Alfred: **_(stand and start singing while dancing with each other. They seem barely buzzed) SHOTS SHOTS SHOTSHOTSHOT SHOTS SHOTS SHOTSHOTSHOT SHOT SHOTS SHOTSHOTSHOT SHOTS, everybody!_

**Will: **I gotta hand it to ya, Jax. You can hold your liquor.

**Jax, Alfred, and Ivan: **_(still doing shots. Keep going till the bottle is empty. All three are determined and still coherent) SHOTS SHOTS SHOTSHOTSHOT SHOTS SHOTS SHOTSHOTSHOT SHOT SHOTS SHOTSHOTSHOT SHOTS, everybody!_

**Catherine: **I think it's time for the next dare. Will, would you read it?

**Will:** Alright. This is from Skadiyoko. _***is a pervert who would request someone doing the nasty* D: XD Hmmm, interesting. . . Of course I'm doing a dare. *evil smile since fanfiction dosn't register the greater than and less than keys* FINE! I dare all 8 boys to play spin the bottle! And I don't wanna see any little pussy pecks either! Got it? *evil smily face's again***_ I'm so glad I'm not included in this.

**Catherine: **Same.

**Jax: **Same. _SHOTS SHOTS SHOTSHOTSHOT SHOTS SHOTS SHOTSHOTSHOT SHOT SHOTS SHOTSHOTSHOT SHOTS, everybody!_

**Catherine: **Jax, are you drunk yet?

**Jax: **_(stands up. She's still steady.) _Nope! But I'm about half a bottle of whiskey away from it.

**Alfred: **Dude, you can party! _(he's barely buzzed. Ivan is completely unaffected)_

**Catherine: **_(takes the empty bottle of vodka, rinses it out) _Alright, spin the bottle you guys. _(most countries panic. Feliciano just kisses Ludwig. Ludwig blushes, still staring at his new whip.)_

_(Ludwig, Feliciano, Kiku, Yong Soo, Francis, Matthew, Alfred, Arthur, Yao, and Ivan sit in a circle, and Catherine puts the bottle in the middle. Jax and Will start chowing down on the enchiladas. Catherine spins the bottle and it points at Yong Soo. Kiku turns white. Catherine spins it again, and it points at Francis. Yong Soo pounces on Francis, groping him while kissing him hard. Francis falls over backwards and everyone snickers. They get up, and Catherine spins it again. It's pointing at Matthew. Francis pulls Matthew close and kisses him romantically. Matthew is blushing, but squeaks in embarrassment when Francis slips his tongue in his mouth. Catherine fights for a straight face as she spins it again, and it points to Alfred. Matthew shyly kisses Alfred chastely on the lips. Arthur glares. Catherine spins the bottle again and it points to Kiku. Alfred plants a wet one on Kiku's mouth, and Kiku looks like he's been raped. Catherine spins the bottle again and it points to Feliciano. Kiku goes over, but Feliciano throws his arms around Kiku and kisses him full on the mouth. Kiku looks like he's going to need therapy. The bottle is spun again, and it points to Arthur. Feliciano launches towards Arthur, crying, and kisses him full on the mouth. Arthur is so surprised that Feliciano came within ten feet of him that he turns beet red. The bottle is spun, and it points to Ivan. Arthur pulls Ivan towards him by the scarf and kisses him roughly. Ivan grins evilly. The bottle is spun, and it points to Yao. Yao looks nervous as Ivan kisses him on the lips. When they part, Yao shudders. Catherine spins the bottle again and it points to Ludwig, who blushes. Yao kisses him quickly, and sits down. Catherine spins the bottle, and it points at Matthew. Ludwig kisses him briefly, and they both resemble tomatoes.)_

**Jax: **This is entertaining. And I'm getting sober again. But seriously, as much fun as this is, we gotta move on here.

**Catherine: **I agree. _(The countries sigh in relief)_ Arthur, will you read the next dare?

**Arthur:** _(takes the paper)_ This is from Selestyna Arpa364.

**Catherine: **My sister?

**Jax: **_(is starting on her whiskey)_ How many Selestynas do you know?

**Arthur: **Precisely. She says _**Oh my gosh. I dunno whether to be more surprised at you making a truth or dare fanfic or that I'm mentioned in one. :D Okay I'll start. 1) Ludwig; since your name is Ludwig, I dare you to play Beethoven's Moonlight  
Sonata OVER 9000 TIMES! 2)Feliciano; umm...I dare you to eat a spaghetti noodle that is 50 miles long. You can use a spoon to help, but you can't cut the noodle. 3)Kiku; do the Can Can in a mini skirt. On Broadway. Oh and in stripper heels. 4)Alfred; I WANT A BURGER TOO! And after you get me one from Five Guys, I want you to be stuck in the anime Shugo Chara for the rest of the chapter. You can come back to do the dares but you gotta go back once you're done. 5)Arthur; Uh...whenever someone speaks to you, you have to pull out a  
broadsword, point it at the sky and shout "I AM INVINCIBLE!" 6)Francis; sing the song "I Kissed A Boy" in front of the nearest guy you find. NOT WILL. 7)Ivan; speak like Arnold Schwarzeneggar for the rest of the chapter and carry a pop gun. 8)Yao; whenever anyone says something, shout either "THATS WHAT SHE SAID " or "YOUR MOM (repeat what they said)" Okay I'm done. Have fun everyone! Can I stay to watch this?**_

**Jax: **GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE THEN!

**Catherine: ** We do not need more people in this trai—_(Selestyna falls into the room from the ceiling)_ SELESTYNA! THE CEILING, DAMMIT!

**Selestyna: **_(couldn't care less)_ OH MY GOD THIS IS FRICKIN AWESOME! Hey Will.

**Will: **_(nods at her)_

**Catherine: **Let's get this over with. Ludwig, there's Jax's keyboard. Start playing.

**Ludwig: **_(approaches the keyboard like it's going to explode. He turns it on, and starts playing random chords)_

**Selestyna: **Um, can you play piano?

**Ludwig: ** _(still playing badly)_ No. _(Somewhere in Vienna, Roderich is dying a slow and painful death. Ludwig keeps pounding the keys.)_

**Jax: **Ludwig, these are headphones. Plug them in. NOW you can play to your heart's content.

**Feliciano: **_(puts the headphones on)_ Ah, Ludwig, you are a genius! _(starts dancing. Ludwig looks embarrassed and pleased. Everyone else avert their gazes.)_

**Jax: **_Oye Flacito_, here. Selestyna wants you to eat this noodle with only a spoon.

**Feliciano: **_(stops dancing, sees the pasta)_ PASTAAAA! _(he inhales it in less than thirty seconds. Selestyna's jaw drops. Everyone else is thoroughly unimpressed. It's Feliciano, what'd they expect?)_ BELLISSIMO!

**Selestyna: **I was totally wasn't expecting that.

**Alfred: **_(noms on a pomegranate)_ He's Italy. Dude, what WERE you expecting?

**Selestyna: **_(thinks about it)_

**Catherine: **MOVING ON, BECAUSE I WANT TO GO TO BED!

**Jax: **Okay, okay. Kiku! You're up! _(Kiku looks like he wants to die. And his head's on fire.)_ Broadway. Miniskirt. Stilettos. Cancan. Now.

**Kiku: **May I borrow the clothing in question, Jax-san?

**Jax: **_(looks him up and down)_ Nope, you won't fit. Go buy them yourself!

**Catherine: **Where?

**Jax: **He'll find somewhere. _(boots Kiku out the window)_

**Catherine: **Jax! Be nice!

**Jax: **I'm drunk, what do I care? _(turns on the TV. Everyone crowds around it, and flip through channels)_

**Alfred: **GO BACK, I SAW HIM!

**Yao: **Oh wow… _(Kiku is in a jean miniskirt, his military jacket, and large black stilettos, looking thoroughly embarrassed. He didn't shave his legs.)_

**Jax: **Mm. That's nasty. _(Catherine smacks her.)_

**Kiku: **Because of a dare from Catherine-san's little sister, Selest-chan, I will now perform the Cancan for you. _(he bows.)_

**Audience: ** O.o Wtf? _(Kiku starts kicking out of rhythm, blushing more and more. Then he starts getting into it, and accidentally kicks so hard at the finale that a shoe flies off and hits an old lady in the head. Kiku stares at her, and rushes off the stage, looking like a radish.)_

**Alfred: **_(takes a swig of Jax's whiskey) _That was…entertaining…

**Jax: **Disturbing, more like it. I think I like it better when Clackyoya does it.

**Selestyna: **_(squeals and laughs her ass off)_

**Catherine: **Who?

**Jax: **Never mind.

**Selestyna: **Now for my favorite dare! _(wiggles excitedly. Will rolls his eyes)_

**Jax: **Yup. And Alfred, while you're at it, get me a burger.

**Will: **And me.

**Catherine: **And me.

**Alfred: **Can I get a burger too?

**Jax: **Nope! You can only eat fruit!

**Alfred: **_(pouts, but leaves and comes back with burgers and fries for Jax, Catherine, Will, and Selestyna.) _Now what?

**Jax: **You've been banished to the far reaches of anime. TO SHUGO CHARA, MY FRIEND! It's been nice knowing you.

**Alfred: **?

**Ikuto: **O.O! =.=…

**Alfred: **OH WOW LOOK, TINY PEOPLE! I THOUGHT ONLY ARTHUR COULD SEE THESE GUYS!

**Yoru: **What's he talking about, nya?

**Amu: **I have no idea. HEY, WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING IN MY ROOM! _(starts spazzing. Alfred lol's on the ground.)_

**Jax: **Eh, he looks happy. NEXT! Arthur…

**Arthur: **_(rolls his eyes)_ Very well. _(from behind him, he brandishes a gigantic broadsword and roars) _I AM INVINCIBLE! _(puts the sword away as he looks back at Jax, as if he pulled out broadswords all the time.) _You were saying?

**Jax: **O.O Never mind…

**Arthur: **I AM INVINCIBLE! Alright. _(sits and continues reading his book)_

**Catherine: **Selestyna, you've lost your damn mind.

**Selestyna: **_(is not paying attention. Keeps scarfing her burger)_

**Jax: **Is Francis done wasting tap water? _(Francis comes out of the kitchen, sopping wet, and smelling like chlorine, aka, Washington D.C. tap water) _Ah, there you are. You have to sing to the guy standing and or sitting closest to you!

**Francis: **_(is excited, until he sees he is standing right beside Ivan.) _Mon dieu…

**Selestyna: ** DANCE TO IT TOO!

**Francis: **e.o

**Catherine: **…Yeah. Have fun, Francis.

**Ivan: **_(smiles)_

**Francis: **Ahem. _(Starts stripping slowly and grinds on Ivan)_

Yo check it out I've got a plan  
Here's my intention HAHA!  
The frat boys in the club are lame  
Let's start an altercation  
It's just what I'm used to  
Just want to fuck shit up  
I've got my whole damn crew  
Come on what you gonna do?

I kissed a boy and they liked it  
Got all the honeys in the club excited  
I kissed a boy just to start shit  
That homeboy was not about it

I know it's wrong, but I don't mind  
I'm gonna start shit tonight  
I kissed a boy just to start shit  
Bitches loved it

No you don't even know my name  
It doesn't matter  
Don't even front, you've got no game  
You're just a sucker  
So what now, I clowned you  
And I'm stealing your girl too  
She wants a secure dude  
And that's just not you

I kissed a boy and they liked it  
Got all the honeys in the club excited  
I kissed a boy just to start shit  
That homeboy was not about it

I know it's wrong, but I don't mind  
I'm gonna start shit tonight  
I kissed a boy just to start shit  
Bitches loved it

Me and my bros that's how we roll  
You'll never know how far we'll go  
I'll grab some chump that I don't know  
And plant one right on him  
You're only here for our amusement

I kissed a boy and they liked it  
Got all the honeys in the club excited  
I kissed a boy just to start shit  
That homeboy was not about it

I know it's wrong, but I don't mind  
I'm gonna start shit tonight  
I kissed a boy just to start shit  
Bitches loved it  
HAHA

**Ivan: **Thank you, Francis.

**Francis: **_(is severely creeped out.)_

**Jax: **Hey, Francis! That wasn't half bad! Now put your damn clothes back on.

**Selestyna: **_(is dying of a fangasm.)_

**Jax: **You know you have way too much time on your hands, Selestyna.

**Catherine: **Seriously.

**Will: **I can't believe I'm related to you people.

**Alfred: **_(from Amu's closet) _YOU ALL ARE RELATED! _(Jax and Catherine exchange glances.)_

**Catherine: **Yes. We're cousins. Selestyna is my sister, and Will is Jax's brother.

**Everyone: **O.O!

**Selestyna: **_(is hyperventilating with excitement) _OMG, do the next dare! _(Jax and Catherine turn to look at Ivan warily. Ivan smiles.)_

**Jax: **You know, Selest, since it was YOUR idea, you tell him what to do!

**Selestyna: **_(almost dies) _IVAN YOU HAVE TO TALK LIKE ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER AND CARRY A POPGUN! _(has to sit down she's so excited)_

**Ivan: **_(Pulls a shotgun out from under his coat) _Will this work?

**Jax: **I'm not typing Schwarzenegger's accent. Waaaay too difficult. _(giggles)_ I'm gonna be so smashed at the end of this chapter. Good thing I'm legal! Ivan, Selestyna said a POPGUN, not a SHOTGUN. So put it away.

**Ivan:** _(creepy purple cloud, but pulls out a popgun anyway, and goose-steps around the trailer with it on his shoulder. The other countries watch him and move away.)_

**Catherine: **Where's Yao? _(starts looking for him. He's hiding under her desk) _Get out here, you Mary-Sue!

**Selestyna: **OMG LITTLEKURIBOH REFERENCE!

**Catherine: **I just want to go to bed, Selestyna. I'm not making references. _(Yao crawls out, looking scared.) _You have to say "That's what she said" or "Your mom—" after someone says something.

**Yao: **_(stares at Selestyna) _Why, aru? _(Selestyna shrugs. Yao sighs.) _Very well, aru. THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!

**Selestyna: **Lol.

**Yao: **That's what she said.

**Catherine: **Okay, that's enough from my crazy sister.

**Yao: **Your mom's a crazy sister.

**Catherine: **_(rolls her eyes. Grabs the next set of dares) _Alright then. Selestyna, read these next ones.

**Yao: **That's what she said.

**Selestyna: **These are from Owlflight12. Oh, wow! Check these out! _**Oh yay, a Truth or Dare fic! *Evil grin* *Allies* 1. England, I dare you to kiss America for over 14 seconds. 2. America, I dare you to do something so totally un-heroic. 3. China, is it true that you have an unhealthy panda fetish? 4. France, is it true that you've topped most of the world? 5. And Russia, I dare you to act like Latvia for a day! *Axis* 6. Japan, is it true that you invented YAOI? 7. Italy, I dare you to eat the biggest bowl of Pasta made IN THE UNIVERSE! 9. and Germany, I dare you to wear Prussia's clothes and call yourself awesome  
for the remainder of this fanfic! **_COOL!

**Jax: **_(is smashed) _Hehehehe…Arthur.

**Arthur: **I AM INVINCIBLE! What now?

**Jax:** _(giggles) _You have a sword!

**Yao: **THAT'S TOTALLY WHAT SHE SAID! _(cracks himself up)_

**Catherine: **Jax, I need your watch, thank you. _(takes it) _Someone go get Alfred out of _Shugo Chara_.

**Alfred: **_(is dragged back to the trailer by an eager Francis) _SUP, GUYS!

**Yao: **Your mom's a guy.

**Alfred:** ?

**Catherine: **Arthur has been dared to kiss you for over fourteen seconds. _(Alfred and Arthur eye each other seductively.) _ARTHUR has to kiss Alfred. _(Arthur looks devious, and Alfred looks excited) _Start…now. _(Arthur drags Alfred down by the front of his shirt and starts kissing him passionately. Jax is giggling so hard she can't move. Selestyna gets a nosebleed. Will sits down and picks up the book Arthur was reading. Francis is trying not to watch. Arthur backs Alfred into the wall, still kissing him hard. Alfred is enjoying it, because his arms are wrapped tightly around Arthur's body.) _Time's up guys. _(They ignore her as Arthur drags Alfred back into the spare bedroom. The door slams shut) _Great.

**Yao: **That's what she said.

**Catherine: **Oh, shut up. _(Yao looks offended.) _Alfred's turn… _(goes to knock on the door where she hears a lot of moaning and gasping.) _Ugh, I don't look forward to this. _(Knocks on the door) _ALFRED, YOU HAVE TO DO SOMETHING COMPLETELY UNHEROIC!

**Alfred: **I AM DOING SOMETHING UNHEROIC!

**Catherine: **_(is confused) _What's that?

**Alfred: **I'M ON THE BOTTOM! _(Jax cracks up again)_

**Catherine: **Works for me! Alright, next up, Yao.

**Yao: **Your mom's— _(can't think of anything)_

**Catherine:** So, DO you have an unhealthy panda fetish?

**Yao: **_(is defensive) _It's no different from Greece's cat fetish!

**Kiku: **_(clears his throat)_

**Francis: **Curses to whoever wanted me to not be perverted!

**Catherine: **And we ALL know how kinky Greece's cat fetish is.

**Kiku: **_(turns red)_

**Yao: **_(panics) _It's not like that! I just really, really, _really_, REALLY like pandas…

_(awkward silence)_

**Jax: **Holy shit, he's into bestiality.

**Feliciano: **So's Ludwig! _(Ludwig looks mortified)_

**Jax: **Hey Italy, guess what! I'M SO DRUNK! _(Feliciano cheers)_

**Alfred: **_(from the bedroom) _OH GOD, ARTHUR!

**Catherine: **Dear Lord, I do not wanna hear that again.

**Jax: **You'll probably have to. Hetalia begs for yaoi couples. I like USxUK best…

**Catherine: **Jax, shut the hell up before I make you!

**Jax: **_(is not listening) _SpainxSouth Italy's hot too… _(loses her train of thought) _I like Skittles. Holy shit, I know Italian!

**Catherine: ** _(smacks Jax upside the head) _Oh shut up, dumbass. You're drunk, not ADD!

**Jax: **Shows how much you know, Catherine. I AM ADD!

**Francis: **Shall I answer my question now, mes amis?

**Catherine: **_(sighs and massages her temples) _Yes, yes, if you must.

**Arthur:** OH YES, ALFRED! YES YES YES!

**Catherine: **Oh, fuck it. _(puts her head through a wall)_

**Francis: **Well, my first time was with Spain. I was on the bottom. _(Catherine retches. Jax plugs her ears and falls over. Selestyna turns white. Will wanders away. Feliciano is still dancing to Ludwig's awful playing.)_ But I am the country of love! Of course I spread love everywhere I go!

**Jax:** Yeah, that and STDs.

**Catherine: **_(Cracks up to the point where she cannot stand up anymore. Francis looks furious)_

**Jax: **Don't give me that look, France-pants. You know it to be true. I think AIDS started with a French airline stewardess.

**Will: **How do you remember all this? And while you're drunk?

**Jax: **No idea. Shit, which Will is real!

**Will: **How many of me do you see?

**Jax: **Three!

**Will: **They're all real.

**Jax: **O.O!

**Catherine: **Ivan's turn. You have to act like Latvia! _(Ivan grins creepily. He starts walking around on his knees to be Raivis's height, and metaphorically sticks his foot in his mouth.)_

**Jax: **HAHAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHAHA! _(points and continues laughing)_

**Ivan: ** I do good as small, wimpy little Latvia, da?

**Catherine: **_(inches away slowly)_

**Selestyna:** OH MY GOD WHAT'S NEXT!

**Catherine: **Truth for Kiku! _(Kiku freezes, and turns around slowly. He's holding SpainxRomano doujinshi) _Kiku, is it true that you invented yaoi?

**Kiku: **Ano…e-eto…

**Jax: **Spit it out, Kiku. We don't judge. After all, apparently you live here now.

**Kiku: **_(does not look reassured) _Homosexuality has existed for millennia. I just made it look hot, socially acceptable, and made up a word for it.

**Jax: **_(snorts) _Just kidding. I'm totally judging you for that.

**Kiku: **_(is offended)_

**Jax: **_(pats his arm reassuringly) _I'm judging you because you look so embarrassed about it. Admit it, you like yaoi.

**Kiku: **_(blushes like a sunburnt tomato) _I did not deny it!

**Jax: **_(is not paying attention to a word he's saying) _Kiku, are you still wearing the heels from the Cancan dare?

**Kiku: **? _(looks down. The stilettos are still on his feet. He turns red and tries to shake them off)_

**Jax: **OMG YOU ARE!

**Francis: **_(peeks)_

**Will: **_(kicks him) _France, you're not allowed to be a pervert.

**Francis: **_(nosebleeds, but looks away crying)_

**Kiku: **I CANNOT REMOVE THEM! _(starts flailing)_

**Catherine: **You like cross-dressing too?

**Kiku: **_(is so red he's almost purple)_

**Selestyna: **OMG HE HAS CLACKY SHOES ON!

**Jax: **HAHAHAHAHA! KIKU IS A CLACKY!

**Catherine:** _(rolls her eyes)_ So, you did invent yaoi?

**Kiku: **Hai. _(stumbles and clacks around)_

**Jax: **O.O WE GOT A DIRECT ANSWER OUT OF JAPAN!

**Catherine: **O.O! We did!

**Kiku: **_(looks mildly annoyed, but more embarrassed as he is forced to keep clacking)_

**Will: **Next?

**Jax:** Lol. Clacky. _(Will rolls his eyes at his hammered sister)_

**Catherine:** The biggest bowl of pasta made in the universe?

**Feliciano: **_(perks up) _Pasta?

**Jax: **_(looks outside, and falls over) _HOLY SHIT!

**Catherine: **What? _(also looks outside) _HOLY SHIT!

**Will: **_(is curious and looks) _Holy shit.

**Alfred: **_(from the bedroom) _HOLY SHIT!

**Selestyna: **OMGWTFBBQ!

**Ludwig: **_(also looks out the window as he keeps playing the piano)_ Mein Gott.

**Yao: **THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!

**Francis: **_(hopes it's something perverted and looks. Is disappointed) _Pfui.

**Kiku: **_(clacks to the window and looks) _"Holy shit" is right.

**Arthur: **_(also from the bedroom) _HOLY SHIT!

**Yong Soo: **_(wants to be included) _HOLY SHIT!

**Feliciano: **Che cosà? _(looks outside to see an enormous bowl filled past the brim with pasta, Owlflight12 standing on top of it with an Italian flag, grinning. Feliciano's face lights up, and he launches himself out the window, fork outstretched) _! _(begins noming happily. Owlflight12 watches and laughs)_

**Catherine: **Aw, he's happy. I give him ten minutes.

**Jax: **Five.

**Seslestyna: **An entire chapter!

**Will: **Fifteen minutes.

**Ludwig: **_(still playing piano) _Two minutes.

**Everyone: **O.o

**Arthur: **ALFRED!

**Alfred: **ARTHUR!

_(awkward silence follows as panting and kissing is heard from the room)_

**Catherine: **_(clears her throat awkwardly) _Moving on…

**Jax: **Catherine, I'm getting sober.

**Catherine: **Good. Maybe this time you won't wake up thinking there's a polar bear in the trailer.

**Selestyna: **_(has not paid attention to the conversation, but suddenly points and screams) _THERE'S A FLOATING POLAR BEAR IN THE TRAILER!

**Jax: **O.O!

**Catherine: **e.o

**Will: **-_-" That's Canada's pet polar bear.

**Selestyna: **It flies!

**Will: **Matthew is holding him.

**Matthew: **_(keeps smiling and looking invisible)_

**Feliciano: **_(comes back in the door, covered in pasta sauce) _More pasta?

**Jax: **_(stares)_

**Catherine: **DON'T YOU DARE TRACK THAT SAUCE ON THE CARPET!

**Ludwig: **_(has apparently finished playing the piano. Picks up Feliciano, and disposes of him in the bathtub.)_

**Owlflight12: **_(comes in the door looking shellshocked)_ I can't believe he ate it all that fast.

**Jax: **How long did it take him?

**Owlflight12: **Two minutes.

**Everyone: **O.O!

**Owlflight12: **Yup.

**Jax: **I'd offer you something to drink…but all we have is tap water. I drank my whiskey.

**Owlflight12: **_(shrugs, and goes to watch tv)_

**Catherine: **Last dare from Owlflight12! Ludwig!

**Ludwig: **_(grimace)_

**Jax: **BE AWESOME! _(Gilbert falls through the ceiling)_

**Gilbert: **THE KING OF AWESOME HAS ARRIVED!

**Ludwig: **_(eyebrow twitch. Suddenly he pounces on Gilbert and starts yanking his jacket off. Owlflight12 is lmao'ing)_

**Gilbert: **OI, WEST! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!

**Ludwig: **It is a dare.

**Jax: **Resistance is futile.

**Feliciano: **_(sees Ludwig stripping Gilbert and cries)_ LUDWIG DOESN'T LOVE ME ANYMORE!

**Ludwig: **! _(is half dressed)_

**Gilbert: **_(is half-naked and annoyed)_

**Feliciano: **_(locks himself in Catherine and Jax's room where Shiko is still asleep. Hides under a bed and cries. Everyone looks at the door, then back at Ludwig)_

_(very very awkward silence)_

**Gilbert: **If you wanted to be as awesome as me, you should have just said so.

**Ludwig: **_(pulls on Gilbert's pants and tucks in the shirt. All Gilbert is wearing now is his Prussian flag boxers) _Shut up. No one is as awesome as me!

**Gilbert: **O.O

**Ludwig: -_-**

**Arthur: **_(from the bedroom)_ I AM INVINCIBLE! Don't tell me three people in this trailer are calling themselves awesome.

**Alfred, Gilbert, and Ludwig: **BUT I AM AWESOME!

**Catherine: **_(facepalms)_

**Yao: **You're mom is awesome.

**Jax: **_(glares at Yao)_

**Will: **The egos in this trailer are enormous.

**Arthur and Alfred: **_(finally emerge from the bedroom holding hands)_

**Alfred: **WHAT DID THE HERO MISS!

**Arthur: **I AM INVINCIBLE! Apparently nothing much.

**Jax: **Hey, Arthur! Catherine cosplays as you!

**Catherine: **_(blushes and is embarrassed)_

**Arthur: **_(is curious) _I AM INVINCIBLE! Really?

**Jax: **Yup!

**Catherine: **Jax! Shut up! It's not like you're any better!

**Kiku: **_(still clacking, but is curious) _What does Jax-san cosplay as?

**Catherine: **Navi. From Legend of Zelda.

**Selestyna: **_(snorts and laughs like an idiot)_

**Jax: **_(blushes)_

**Kiku: **_(is flattered and impressed)_

**Will: **Are there any more truths or dares?

**Jax: **Yup! Here, Gilbert! You read these!

**Gilbert: **_(is still half-naked and apparently doesn't care) _These are from Crystalinn. _**If Austria is hiding out here somewhere, I dare you to kiss Prussia for a full  
minute WITH TONGUE. DO ET. Angleterre! Sit in France's lap for a round. Germany. We all know you like Italia. Confess. Japan, do tell about your relations with Greece. America, no hamburgers fer you. Just tofu for a day~ Italy, you're cute and don't have to do anything. Russia, stop being creepy. France, while Angleterre is sitting in your lap, you aren't allowed to cop a feel. Sorry! China, you have to cuddle with Russia.**_ WHO WOULDN'T WANT TO MAKE OUT WITH THE AWESOME ME!

**Jax, Catherine, Will and Selestyna: **_(raise their hands)_

**Gilbert: **_(glares)_

**Roderich: **_(falls through the ceiling)_

**Catherine: **THE NEXT PERSON THAT FALLS THROUGH THE CEILING I WILL CASTRATE ON THE SPOT!

**Jax: **_(scolding)_ Catherine, that's not nice.

**Catherine: **_(obviously doesn't care)_

**Roderich: **Who was playing the piano so badly earlier? I heard it!

**Ludwig: **IT WAS AWESOME, RODDY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!

**Roderich: **e.o Oh really? I'll have you know—

**Jax: **Um, Austria?

**Roderich: **WHAT!

**Jax: **_(evil smile) _You have to make out with someone.

**Roderich: **_(does not like the evil smile) _With who?

**Gilbert: **THE AWESOMENESS THAT IS ME!

**Roderich: **Absolutely not!

**Catherine: **_(puts her arm around him)_ Why not?

**Roderich: **HE ATTACKED MY VITAL REGIONS!

**Jax: **_(roflmao's)_

**Catherine: **_(is trying not to laugh) _You know, Roderich, this is a truth or dare fic.

**Selestyna: **_(is bored and watching _Pride and Prejudice_ on the TV with Owlflight12. Arthur joins them)_ Colin Firth is the best Darcy EVAR!

**Arthur: **_(ignores her)_

**Roderich:** Your point?

**Alfred: **_(starts eating a peach)_ The reviewer is always right.

**Will: **You have to do it. Or answer it.

**Yao: **That's what she said.

**Francis: **You can fight it as much as you want, mon ami, but in the end, you must do it.

**Jax: **_(starts playing Beethoven's Symphony Number Nine to indicate the impending sense of doom)_

**Roderich: **_(is interested) _You play the piano?

**Jax: **Since I was six! I can play it better when I'm sober.

**Catherine: **She sings too.

**Roderich: **_(is much more interested) _What do you like to sing?

**Jax: **Mozart is my favorite! My favorite opera is _Le Nozze di Figaro_!

**Roderich: **_(found his new best friend) _:-D

**Jax: **I'll sing for you if you like!

**Catherine: **On one condition.

**Roderich:** I'LL DO IT! _(glomps Gilbert and starts making out with him. Gilbert is so surprised he falls over. Kiku whips out his camera and starts taking lots of pictures. Elizaveta falls through the ceiling with her own camera and a heavy nosebleed)_

**Catherine: **I FREAKING SWEAR!

**Elizaveta: **You can castrate me later, AFTER I GET THESE PICTURES!

**Jax: **_(starts playing the cheesy Titanic song)_

**Roderich: **_(glares at Jax. Jax giggles)_

**Alfred: **_(starts to sing along badly)_

**Roderich: **_(plugs his ears, and shoves his tongue down Gilbert's throat. Gilbert's enjoying himself and doesn't care he's making out with a dude)_

**Jax: **Elizaveta, how did you know Catherine was threatening to castrate the next person that fell through the roof?

**Elizaveta: **I set up a camera in your trailer.

**Catherine: **_(may blow a gasket)_

**Alfred:** Near, far, whereEVER YOU ARE~!

**Jax: **STOP IT! YOU'RE MURDERING MY EARDRUMS!

**Alfred:** _(pouts and starts eating some cantaloupe)_

**Catherine: **How long do they have to make out?

**Jax: **Dunno. They can stop when this round of dares are over.

**Catherine: **Okay, what's next?

**Francis: **ARTHUR HAS TO SIT ON MY LAP! _(is clearly excited)_

**Jax: **But you're still not allowed to be a pervert!

**Francis: **_(is heart-broken)_

**Jax: **Look at it as punishment for molesting poor little Liechtenstein.

**Francis: **_(sits down and pouts)_

**Arthur: **_(is still watching the movie with Selestyna and Owlflight12)_

**Catherine: **Arthur!

**Arthur: **I AM INVINCIBLE! Yes?

**Catherine: **You have to sit on his lap.

**Arthur: **_(looks like he may murder her)_

**Jax: **But he's still not allowed to be a pervert!

**Arthur:** I AM INVINCIBLE! Like that's any better!

**Alfred: **I'll hold your hand, if you want.

**Arthur: **_(blushes, but sits precariously on Francis's knees. Alfred sits in a chair facing Arthur, and holds his hand. They both blush and watch the movie. Selestyna starts giggling. Elizaveta starts taking pictures of them. Francis has his eyes closed)_

**Jax: **Awww, that's so cute.

**Catherine: **Yeah, it is.

**Jax and Catherine: **_(start watching the movie too)_

**Ludwig: **_(clears his throat loudly)_

**Jax: **_(jumps) _Oh right! Ludwig! Wait, where's Feliciano?

**Catherine: **Ludwig broke his heart, and now he's hiding under your bed. I'm surprised Shiko hasn't woken up yet!

**Ludwig: **_(looks sad)_

**Jax: **Catherine, he already confessed.

**Catherine: **Well, make him apologize and reaffirm his love.

**Ludwig:** _(blushes) _Alright. _(knocks on the door where Feliciano is sobbing, and Shiko is sleeping…somehow)_ Fe-Feliciano?

**Feliciano: **GO AWAY, GERMANY! YOU LOVE PRUSSIA MORE THAN ME!

**Ludwig: **That's not true! It was a dare, Feliciano. I was dared to steal his clothes and act like him for the rest of the chapter! I wasn't doing anything lewd.

**Feliciano: **_(stops crying)_

**Catherine and Jax: **_(are watching and smiling)_

**Elizaveta: **_(is videotaping Ludwig talking to a door)_

**Ludwig: **Feliciano…you know that I'd never be unfaithful to you. It's you, it's always been you. I love you, Feliciano. Please forgive me?

**Feliciano: **_(opens the door and flings himself into Ludwig's arms)_ LUDWIG! _(they begin kissing, and Kiku's camera flashes. Jax, Catherine, and Selestyna applaud)_

**Catherine: **That was so sweet!

**Jax: **Almost too sweet…

**Selestyna: **_(is stemming a nosebleed)_

**Ludwig: **_(picks up Feliciano, and move to the other bedroom, closing the door behind them)_

**Jax: **That room gets a lot of action, huh?

**Yong Soo: **Make up sex is the best kind of sex! _(everyone turns around and stares at him) _What!

**Catherine: **Okay…moving on! Kiku! Another truth! What's going on between you and Herakles?

**Kiku:** _(blushes and mumbles incoherently)_

**Jax: **Can't hear ya, Clacky!

**Kiku: **It is a political friendship.

**Catherine: **o.O Are you sure?

**Kiku: **_(is uncomfortable)_

**Jax: **I think there's something kinky going on between him, Herakles, and their cats.

**Kiku: **_(blushes like a radish)_

**Francis: (**_nosebleeds)_

**Elizaveta: **_(nosebleeds)_

**Selestyna: **_(nosebleeds)_

**Yong Soo: **_(nosebleeds)_

**Catherine: **Hmm…you may be on to something Jax.

**Jax: **_(smirks)_

**Kiku: **_(clamps his mouth shut)_

*Half an hour later…*

**Catherine: **I give up! He's not talking!

**Jax: **And I'm sober again!

**Will: **_(hides the tequila)_

**Kiku: **_(refuses to say another word and clacks away)_

**Roderich and Gilbert: **_(are still making out, and looking bored)_

**Elizaveta: **KISS LIKE YOU MEAN IT!

**Gilbert: **_(rolls his eyes)_

**Elizaveta: **_(whacks him with her frying pan)_

**Gilbert: **_(passes out)_

**Roderich:** Uuuuuh… _(sees Jax) _I MADE OUT WITH HIM! NOW SING!

**Jax: **O.O! _(hides behind Catherine)_

**Catherine: **_(nicely) _Jax, you said if he did the dare, you'd sing for him.

**Jax: **I did not! YOU did!

**Catherine: **Jax—

**Jax: **OH LOOK, A DARE FOR ALFRED!

**Alfred: **_(kisses Arthur's hand and looks at Jax)_

**Jax: **You can eat tofu with your fruit, but STILL NO BURGERS.

**Alfred: **You serious?

**Jax: **_(nods)_

**Alfred: **But tofu is NASTY!

**Catherine: **Tell me about it…

**Alfred: **Well, at least I can eat something other than fruit… _(raids the fridge, pulls out a block of tofu, and inhales it)_

**Jax: **_(is disgusted)_

**Alfred: **_(turns green)_

**Will: **_(changes his facial expression to something vaguely revolted)_

**Alfred: **BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! _(runs to the bathroom and proceeds to puke his guts out)_

**Arthur: **I AM INVINCIBLE! That's what the tosser gets for having a non-varying diet of burgers. _(Francis's hand sneaks up his knee) _DON'T TOUCH ME, YOU BLOODY FROG!

**Jax: **Hey frog legs! You're not allowed to be a pervert!

**Catherine: **Maybe we should tie his hands up.

**Francis: **_(looks excited)_

**Jax: **Nah. He'd just like it.

**Francis: **_(pouts)_

**Catherine: **Shall we move on?

**Jax: ** Yes we shall. Feliciano! _(checks paper) _Oh. Never mind, he doesn't do anything.

**Selestyna: **By the way, Jax, why has it taken so long for you to update?

**Jax: **I got fourteen reviews on chapter one alone!

**Selestyna: **And?

**Jax: **Sel, this fic isn't like your _Short___fic. I can't write this ahead of time! I depend on the reviews for this one! They give me the material to write!

**Will: **I thought you were gonna update before Halloween.

**Jax: **There were…circumstances. _(looks really sad. Catherine hugs her)_

**Selestyna: **But you'll update before Katsucon, right?

**Jax: **_(brightens) _Yeah! I'm going to Katsucon!

**Catherine: **So am I!

**Jax: **HEY HEY HEY! IF ANY OF OUR READERS ARE GOING TO KATSUCON, WE SHOULD TOTALLY MEET UP!

**Catherine: **We should! Wait, finish the chapter first, then we'll get into that.

**Alred: **_(sticks his head out of the bathroom) _Can I come!

**Catherine: **Al, there's going to be at least seven of you running around.

**Alfred: **_(is flattered. But turns and pukes again)_

**Jax: **Alright, who's after the truth-or-dare-less Feliciano? IVAN!

**Ivan: **_(is still pretending to be Raivis)_

**Jax: **Stop being creepy.

**Ivan: **_(spontaneously combusts)_

**Catherine: **HOLY SHIT! _(Arthur jumps up and grabs both Selestyna and Owlflight12 into the bedroom where Shiko is STILL sleeping, locks them in, and barricades himself in the bathroom with Alfred. Francis and Yong Soo and Yao jump under the sofa. Kiku hides with his doujinshi. Feliciano and Ludwig are still having fun in the bedroom. Alfred is still barfing. Gilbert is still passed out. Matthew is silently freaking out. Will doesn't react. Roderich grabs Jax's piano and jumps out the window to save it. Elizaveta puts a marshmallow on a stick and roasts it.)_

**Jax: **What an unexpected turn of events.

**Catherine: **FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!

**Will: **_(grabs Ivan and throws him out the door, and grabs a hose. Holds the hose five feet away, and sprays Ivan with water, and not in a remotely sexy way)_

**Ivan: **_(is soaking wet now)_

**Catherine: **Jax, your brother is awesome.

**Jax: **Awesomer than Alfred?

**Alfred: **Hey!

**Catherine: **Yup.

**Jax: **Awesomer than Gilbert?

**Gilbert: **_(is still unconscious)_

**Catherine: **Yup.

**Jax: **Awesomer than Ludwig?

**Catherine: **Yup.

**Will:** _(walks back in)_ I get it. I'm awesome. _(looks at everyone who's staring at the door, still scared) _AS YOU WERE! _(Alfred keeps tossing his cookies, Arthur unlocks the bedroom door and lets Owlflight12 and Selestyna out who were thumb-wrestling, Francis sits back on the couch and Arthur reluctantly sits on him again. Yao is being felt up by Yong Soo, and Kiku climbs out, holding his precious doujinshi and still in the clacky shoes, Gilbert is still passed out, Roderich climbs back in the window with Jax's piano, Elizaveta eats a smore, and Ludwig and Feliciano are still getting it on.)_

**Catherine: **Well, after Ivan has to stop being creepy, Francis isn't allowed to touch Arthur!

**Arthur:** I AM INVINCIBLE! _(jumps up, laughs maniacally, and points at Francis) _HAHAHAHA! YOU HEAR THAT FROG! YOU CAN'T TOUCH ME!

**Stereo: **_Can't touch this! / Can't touch this! / Can't touch this! / Can't touch this! / Can't touch this!_

**Jax: **I effing love my iPod.

**Francis: **_(actually cries)_

**Selestyna: **That's just sad.

**Will: **_(nods)_

**Catherine: **And now Yao has to cuddle with Ivan! _(Ivan walks in the front door, covered in ice. Yao pales) _There's plenty of room on the couch, lovebirds.

**Ivan: **_(sits down, smiles, and opens his arms, staring pointedly at Yao)_

**Yao: **_(swallows)_

**Jax: **_(shoves him forward) _ Git 'er done, pansy.

**Yao: **_(sits on Ivan's lap, and wraps his arms around his neck, leaning his head against Ivan's shoulder. Ivan closes his arms around Yao and leans his cheek against Yao's head. Yao whimpers)_

**Catherine: **Wimp. He's not allowed to be creepy anymore.

**Selestyna and Owlflight12: **LIZZY AND DARCY 4EVAR!

**Catherine and Jax: **O.o

**Roderich: **_(pointing) _YOU! _(Jax squeaks, jumps into the air, and latches onto the closest thing to her, which is Alfred who just emerged from the bathroom. Alfred keeps walking, unaware that Jax is wrapped around him in fright) _SING!

**Jax: **EEP! _(Arthur detaches her from Alfred, and she latches onto him instead)_ READ THE NEXT DARE INSTEAD, AUSTRIA!

**Roderich: **_(glares, but clears his throat, looks at the page, and begins reading)_ This is from scarletphantom55: _**Awesome job! It's about time more people started Truth or Dare Hetalia fics! I have written one my self :3 Dares: 1) Everyone eat England's scones! *insert evil laughter* 2) China make-out wit Russia and like it :3 3) Canada truly express yourself *Hands nearest host a dart gun with crazy anti-fear darts***_ This makes no sense.

**Jax: **They're not supposed to.

**Roderich: **SING!

**Jax: **_(holds on tighter to Arthur who's looking annoyed)_

**Catherine: **Alright, Jax, let's do these.

**Jax: **_(squeaks) _Kay!

**Catherine: **Arthur?

**Arthur: **_(has difficulty pulling out the broadsword due to Jax being wrapped around him in fear)_ I AM INVINCIBLE! Before I do my dare, will you please get your crazy cousin off me?

**Catherine: **Yeah. _(pulls Jax off. Jax attaches to Catherine)_ Ugh. Get your apron, Arthur.

**Arthur: **I AM INVINCIBLE! Why?

**Jax: **We have to eat your scones!

**Arthur: **_(jumps up, runs to the kitchen and turns on the oven)_

**Kiku:** ! _(grabs USxUK and PruCan doujinshi out of the oven)_

**Catherine: **Kiku, where else have you hidden your doujinshi?

**Kiku:** The spare bedroom.

**Jax: **_(facepalms)_

**Will: **_(gives more groceries to Arthur)_

**Arthur: **_(is humming the Hallelujah Chorus while he bakes)_

**Jax: **_(starts singing quietly along)_

**Roderich: **HA! YOU'RE SINGING!

**Jax: **_(jumps off Catherine and onto Will)_

**Catherine: **Hey, Arthur, make thirty-eight scones.

**Arthur: **I AM INVINCIBLE! Why?

**Jax: **Yeah, Catherine, why?

**Catherine: **The dare said everyone. That means everyone that made an appearance in this chapter.

**Jax: **…you mean…?

**Catherine: **Yes, Jax. You have to eat it too. We will each take two scones.

**Jax: **_(sobs into Will's shoulder)_

**Will: **I will kill you if you mess up my dress blues.

**Jax: **_(attaches to Kiku as he clacks by. He shoves her off and hides in a corner)_

**Selestyna: **Why thirty-eight?

**Catherine: **Two each. There's you, me, Jax, Will, Owlflight12, Shiko, Arthur, Alfred, Yao, Ivan, Francis, Ludwig, Feliciano, Kiku, Roderich, Gilbert, Elizaveta, Yong Soo, and Matthew here.

**Jax: **Who was the last one?

**Will:** _(smacks her upside the head, Gibbs style)_

**Jax: **_(rubbing her head) _You do realize, Catherine, that one of us, namely Shiko, is passed out in your bed and hasn't moved since you put her there? And there are two other countries in the spare bedroom doing the horizontal happy dance?

**Ludwig: **MEIN GOTT, ITALIEN!

**Feliciano: **MOLTO, MOLTO, MOLTO LUDWIG! PER FAVORE!

**Jax: **I rest my case. _(more screaming comes from the room, then it's silent) _They stayed quiet pretty long.

**Arthur: **I AM INVINCIBLE! The scones are ready! _(the Allies hide. Arthur goes emo)_

**Catherine: **_(is brave and takes two. Starts chewing with difficulty)_ Thanks, Arthur! I need butter on this though…

**Arthur: **_(is happy)_ I AM INVINCIBLE!

**Jax: **_(bounces over and inhales one. Has even more difficulty chewing) _Crap. Catherine, my TMJ!

**Arthur: **_(is emo again)_

**Will: **_(inhales the scones with no difficulty) _Yum. Thanks.

**Everyone: **_(stares at Will)_

**Francis: **_(cries as he eats one)_

**Alfred: **_(wrinkles his nose as he tries to swallow them whole)_

**Shiko: **_(walks out like a zombie, eats the scones, and retreats to bed, unaware of what she just ate)_

**Everyone else: **_(somehow chokes down the rest)_

**Jax: **If it makes you feel any better, I liked them.

**Arthur: **I AM INVINCIBLE! You couldn't chew them!

**Jax: **I have TMJ in my jaw! I can barely chew water!

**Aflred:** But you don't chew—

**Catherine: **THAT'S THE ENTIRE POINT OF A METAPHOR!

**Arthur: **_(feels a bit better and goes to semi-cuddle with Alfred)_

**Jax: **_(whispers to Catherine) _He should have taken them out of the oven ten minutes before he served them.

**Catherine: **_(nods)_

**Will: **_(rolls his eyes)_

**Selestyna: **I feel sick… _(slumps onto Owlflight12 who freaks out, jumps up, and hides in the closet)_

**Catherine and Jax: **IF YOU'RE GONNA BE SICK, BE SICK IN THE TOILET!

**Selestyna: **_(runs for the bathroom)_

**Arthur: **_(may commit murder)_

**Catherine: **MOVING ON!

**Jax: **Yeah, cuz I don't fancy telling Tia Maria and Uncle Gary that the personification of the United Kingdom murdered their daughter.

**Catherine: **Yeah. My parents may kill you.

**Jax: **Why me! You were here too!

**Catherine: **Yes, but unlike you and Uncle Bill and Tia Angela, my parents like me.

**Jax: **_(goes to an emo corner and shreds paper)_

**Catherine: **Yao!

**Yao: **_(squeaks and jumps up)_

**Catherine: **You have to make out with Ivan!

**Yao: **Whyyyyyyyyyy!

**Ivan: **_(shoots Yao in the head with his popgun)_

**Catherine: **Because the reviewer is always right!

**Yao: **But I already cuddled with him!

**Will: **_(does not look up from the book he's reading) _Just think of it as taking the next step in your relationship.

**Yao: **THERE IS NO, RELATIONSHIP!

**Catherine: **Do it or else!

**Ludwig and Feliciano: **_(finally emerge from the bedroom. They reluctantly eat the scones)_

**Yao: **Or else what?

**Catherine: **The spare bedroom is free, I'm sure Francis has handcuffs or a blindfold. And I'm sure Ivan would lock the door if I asked nicely.

**Ivan: **_(smiles innocently)_

**Yao: **_(panics, jumps into Ivan's arms, and smashes their mouths together)_

**Catherine: **I knew he'd see it my way.

**Jax: **_(is done being emo) _I freaking hate that phrase. Except when I use it.

**Catherine: **Shall we move on, then?

**Jax: **Yes, lets. _(scarletphantom55 falls in the room from the ceiling)_

**Catherine: **I FUCKING SWEAR WITH THE CEILING!

**Scarletphantom55: **OMG, HI GUYS! _(Hetalia sees her and hides. Will shakes her hand)_ I've got the gun with the anti-fear darts! _(glomps Matthew)_

**Jax: **I WANNA SHOOT HIM!

**Catherine: **Jax, there's no way I'm letting you shoot something.

**Jax: **Catherine, you couldn't hit the broad side of a barn with a car, much less a gun!

**Selestyna: **OOOH OOOH OOOH! ME ME ME ME!

**Catherine and Jax: **HELL NO!

**Will: **I'll do it.

**Catherine, Jax, Selestyna: **_(hide)_

**Will: **_(takes the gun from scarletphantom55 and aims for Matthew who may pass out at any given moment)_

**Catherine and Jax: **_(drag a loudly protesting scarletphantom55 off of Matthew and hides her with them)_

**Will: **_(shoots Matthew straight in the heart)_

**Matthew: **_(looks like he may cry)_

**Everyone: **_(comes out of hiding and resume what they were doing: Ludwig and Feliciano cuddle, Kiku becomes a camera ninja and takes pics of Ivan and Yao who are still making out, Francis sits on the couch completely rejected, Arthur and Alfred watch a movie holding hands, Gilbert is still passed out on the kitchen floor, Elizaveta is watching Roderich play the piano, Yong Soo goes to Matthew and tries to feel him up)_

**Matthew: **_(kicks Yong Soo in the shins) _GET THE HELL OFF ME, CREEPER!

**Catherine and Jax: **O.O!

**Matthew: **_(runs up to Alfred and hugs him) _You're my brother, and I love you.

**Alfred: **Awww, Mattie— _(is cut off when Matthew punches him in the face)_ DUDE!

**Matthew: **STOP BEING SUCH A FUCKING ASSHOLE TO EVERYONE! AND GIVE ME BACK JUSTIN BIEBER! _(runs up to Francis and punches him in the face harder than he punched Alfred) _I HATE YOU, FRANCE! YOU DUMPED ME ON ALFRED'S DOORSTEP AND EXPECTED ARTHUR TO TAKE CARE OF ME! YOU'RE THE WORST DAD EVER AND I HOPE YOU DIE OF SQUIRREL AIDS, MOTHER FUCKER! _(runs up to Arthur. Starts crying) _Arthur, you've been so good to me. _(starts wailing) _WHY DID YOU LOVE ALFRED MORE THAN ME!

**Arthur: **_(hugs Matthew) _I AM INVINCIBLE! Matthew, when you two were little I loved you both equally, but differently. You were quieter, so I loved you in a quieter way. I gave you your bear, didn't I?

**Matthew: **_(sniffles and nods)_

**Arthur: **And you've been such a good friend to me through the centuries. Don't think I don't appreciate it. I love you as a brother, and Alfred as a lover. Different, see? But that doesn't mean any less.

**Jax: **_(starts crying)_

**Catherine: **Why are YOU crying, Jax?

**Jax: **_(sobs) _ARTHUR LOVES MATTHEW LIKE A PARENT! WHY CAN'T MY PARENTS LOVE ME TOO!

**Catherine: **_(hugs Jax tightly)_ We won't get into that.

**Matthew: **_(dries his eyes and goes over to Ivan. Smacks him in the head, and Ivan and Yao stop kissing to look up at him) _IVAN, YOU'RE SUCH A FUCKING CREEPER AND I BET I HAVE A BIGGER COCK THAN YOU! _(stunned silence)_

**Ivan: **_(smiles at Matthew) _Would you like to check?

**Matthew: **_(punches Ivan in the eye) _FUCK NO! GO FUCK YOURSELF IF YOU'RE SO SURE YOURS IS BIGGER!

**Will:** e.o

**Matthew: **Will, I like you, you're cool.

**Will: **_(blinks) _Thanks.

**Matthew: **_(runs up to Kiku who backs away)_ STOP MAKING PORNO DOUJINSHIS ABOUT ME!

**Kiku: **_(nods)_

**Matthew: **_(runs up to Ludwig and Feliciano) _ITALY, TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE THAT'S NOT PASTA! YOU'RE DRIVING ME CRAZY! AND GERMANY, GET THE STICK OUT OF YOUR ASS!

**Feliciano: **_(cries)_

**Ludwig: **O.o

**Matthew: **_(grabs scissors and cuts Yao's ponytail off. Yao freaks) _NOW YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE A FREAKING GIRL AND WE CAN TELL YOU'RE A DUDE!

**Yao: **_(is pissed)_

**Matthew: **_(turns around and runs into Gilbert who just woke up)_ I like you, you're cool.

**Gilbert: **I know. I'm awesome.

**Matthew: **_(points at scarletphantom55) _WHY DO YOU LOVE ME SO MUCH! IT'S FUCKING CREEPY!

**Scarletphantom55: **_(cries)_

**Matthew: **I WANT PANCAKES NOW! _(goes to kitchen and starts making pancakes)_

_(silence)_

**Catherine: **Erm, Elizaveta, you read the next one.

**Elizaveta: **This is from Deusluxmea.

**Jax: **"God my light". Very nice.

**Elizaveta: **She says _***gasps* y isn't there a 2nd chappy yet! y? *sobs* Y DO U HATE ME?(lol) Uhmnnn...dare france to do nothing remotely pervy x-amount of turns 3**_

**Jax: **I'M SORRY! THERE WERE SOME ISSUES ON THIS END! AND DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY PAGES THERE ARE TO THIS SECOND CHAPTER!

**Catherine: **How long?

**Jax: **I'll tell you when the chapter's done…

**Catherine: **We have a problem though.

**Jax: **He already can't be a perv.

**Catherine: **Easily fixable. Francis, you aren't allowed near anything remotely French-related.

**Francis: **_(melts)_

**Jax: **Oh dear. _(puts the liquidized Francis into a bucket, and puts the bucket in the refrigerator to solidify. Catherine can't breathe she's laughing too hard)_

**Matthew: **I STILL HATE YOU, FRANCE, WITH EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING!

**Jax: **Ooookay…Next! Feliciano! You read this!

**Selestyna: **Is Italy literate?

**Ludwig: **_(glares)_

**Feliciano: **_**Non sono**____**sicuro**____**che**____**inomi**____**normali**____**appartengono**____**a**____**quale paese**__**,**____**quindi se**____**si**____**potessedirmi**____**quale**____**è**____**la Germania**____**(o**____**anche**____**se**____**è**____**nella storia**__**)**____**che**____**avrebbe aiutato**__**.**____**Io**____**amo**____**la Germania**__**.**_

**Catherine: **In English, Feliciano.

**Feliciano: **It's from ashton! _**I'm not sure which of the normal names belong to which country, so if you could tell me which is germany (or even if he's in the story) that would help. I love germany.**_

**Jax: **Ludwig is Germany. Let's go down the list!

**Feliciano: **I'm Italy Veneziano! Or North Italy, or just Italy! PASTA!

**Kiku: **I am Japan.

**Alfred: **I'M THE HEROIC AMERICA!

**Arthur: **I am the United Kingdom. Or just Britain or England will do.

**Catherine: **Francis is currently in a bucket in the refrigerator, but he's France.

**Yao: **I am China, aru.

**Ivan: **And I am Mother Russia.

**Gilbert: **AND I AM THE AWESOME PRUSSIA!

**Roderich: **I am Austria.

**Elizaveta: **I'm Hungary!

**Selestyna: **If you're hungry, Elizaveta, just ask Matthew for some pancakes!

**Everyone: **_(facepalms)_

**Yong Soo: **I'm Korea!

**Canada: **I'M MOTHER FUCKING CANADA!

**Everyone: **e.o

**Catherine: **scarletphantom55, how long do those darts last?

**Scarletphantom55: **Uuuuuh…the rest of the chapter?

**Jax: **Oh dear God.

**Will:** So is this chapter over?

**Catherine: **I think so…

**Jax: **Nope! ashton left one more review!

**Will: **Oh.

**Feliciano: **It says _**I forgot to write dares! Your a great writer! Pleazzze make a chapter 2... 1. Germany should kiss romano for at least 10 seconds ( if not romano,than italy). has to peek on england in the shower (just to torture the little perv and england). has to... Make-out with austria. Austria must listen to rock music for an hour.**_

**Jax: **Awww…thank you! You're sweet. This is chapter two.

**Selestyna: **Yay!

**Catherine: **Um, I don't think Feliciano realized what he read.

**Jax: **Why?

**Catherine: **_(grabs the paper back from Feliciano who's not paying attention to anyone but Ludwig and points to the first dare)_

**Jax: **Oh.

**Catherine: **_(clears her throat) _Uh, Ludwig?

**Ludwig: **Was?

**Jax: **You have to kiss Italy.

**Ludwig: **Alright. _(goes to kiss Feliciano)_

**Catherine:** Wrong Italy, Ludwig.

**Ludwig: **_(pales and panics)_

**Feliciano: **_(eyes well with tears)_

**Lovino: **_(falls through the ceiling)_

**Catherine: **I WILL FUCKING CASTRATE YOU AND MAKE YOU SING SOPRANO LIKE JAX! _(grabs Elizaveta's frying pan and starts beating Lovino with it)_

**Lovino: **_(runs around the trailer screaming expletives at Catherine, all of which Jax understood)_

**Jax: **DON'T YOU DARE CALL HER THAT, YOU TOMATO OBSESSED PIECE OF—

**Feliciano: **Pasta…

**Antonio: **_(falls through the ceiling and runs after Jax and Catherine) _NOOOO~! DON'T HURT MY LOVINITO!

**Jax: **OMG IT'S SPAIN! HE'S COME BACK FOR US MEXICANS, RUN!

**Catherine, Jax, Selestyna, and Will: **_(hide in the trunk of conveniently parked car Mexican-stereotype style)_

**Lovino: **_(is confused and stops running)_

**Antonio: **_(glomps Lovino)_

**Lovino: **ARGH! Get off me, you tomato bastard!

**Jax: **_(from inside the car)_ Ludwig do your dare!

**Ludwig: **_(gulps)_

**Feliciano: **_(cries)_

**Catherine: **Just ten seconds, we've got a watch!

**Ludwig: **Alright… _(detangles himself from Feliciano and rips Antonio off of Lovino)_

**Jax: **START! _(Ludwig grabs the back of Lovino's head and starts kissing him as Lovino turns bright red and starts flailing. Ludwig looks like he may need therapy after this. Or pasta. Feliciano weeps and hides behind the TV Owlflight12 is still watching. Antonio is in complete shock. Ludwig hasn't moved, but Lovino is still flailing which makes them actually go at it harder than they would if he hadn't been) _TIME'S UP!

**Ludwig: **_(runs to the bathroom, gargles with mouthwash, dives behind the TV, drags Feliciano out, and runs into the spare bedroom with him)_

**Lovino: **_(glomps Antonio and cries) _I'VE BEEN RAPED!

**Antonio: **_(sniffles and kisses Lovino who promptly starts a makeout session. They stumble into a closet and close it behind them. Sounds of Ludwig doing Feliciano and Antonio doing Lovino can be heard. Alfred and Arthur give each other bedroom eyes. Elizaveta and Kiku sport heavy nosebleeds. Jax, Catherine, Selestyna, and Will crawl out of the car)_

**Jax: **We totally could have fit twelve more Mexicans in there.

**Catherine: **Your readers are gonna think you're totally racist.

**Jax: **How can I be racist when I'm Mexican myself?

**Will: **Who's getting it on?

**Kiku: **_(is trying to stem his nosebleed)_ Ludwig and Feliciano are in the spare bedroom, and Antonio and Lovino in the closet.

**Jax: **_(facepalms) _This trailer gets more action than me and Catherine put together!

**Catherine: **We're virgins.

**Jax: **THAT WAS THE POINT!

**Catherine: **Next Francis has to peek in on Arthur when he's in the shower.

**Arthur: **I AM INVINCIBLE, WHAAAT!

**Selestyna: **_(checks the fridge)_ Francis is still liquidized.

**Jax: **And due to around four people requesting he not be a perv, he's not really able to peek.

**Catherine: **Hmmm…Well, Arthur goes and takes his shower, we stick the bucket in there, and put a lid on it.

**Jax: **That works. Arthur, here's a towel and a washcloth. Enjoy yourself. _(hands Arthur a towel and washcloth. Arthur goes in the bathroom, starts the shower. Catherine puts the bucket full of Francis in there. Alfred looks devious)_

**Catherine: **While Arthur is preoccupied— _(Alfred sneaks into the bathroom, and knocks over the bucket of Francis which spills eeeeeverywhere. Sexual pun intended)_ —Ivan, make out with Roderich.

**Roderich: **I WILL NOT MAKE OUT WITH SOMEONE UNLESS SHE FULFILLS HER PREVIOUS PROMISE! _(points at Jax who looks terrified)_

**Jax: **Um…

**Matthew: **PAY ATTENTION TO ME, DAMNIT!

**Kumajiro: **Who are you?

**Matthew: **I'M YOUR DAMN OWNER, CANADA! GOT THAT IN YOUR HEAD, HAKUNA MATATA!

**Kumajiro: **_(nods)_

**Jax: **I'll sing…

**Roderich: **Good.

**Jax: **_(gets into singer mode) Voi che sapete / che cosa è amor? / Donne vedete / siò lo nel cor / Donne vedete siò lo nel cor! (she's singing "Voi Che Sapete" from Mozart's opera __Le Nozze di Figaro__)_

**Roderich: **Very nice. You'd make a great Cherubino.

**Jax: **_(beams with happiness)_

**Roderich: **What will you do if I make out with Russia?

**Catherine: **You better do it, or else.

**Roderich: **Or else what?

**Jax: **You won't be able to touch my piano. At all. Ever. Or face Mexican consequences.

**Roderich: **_(would die without looking at a piano. Runs to the couch, rips Yao off of Ivan, and starts making out with Ivan who doesn't seem to have noticed that he's changed partners)_

**Catherine: **Wow. He really would do anything for music.

**Jax: **Yup. Me too.

**Will: **Yeah that, Jax, and the fact that you're crazy.

**Jax: **_(smacks Will)_

**Will:** _(smacks Jax back sending her flying) _Hey Matthew, may I have some pancakes?

**Matthew: **_(shares with Will)_

**Catherine: **AND THE LAST DARE FOR THE CHAPTER!

**Jax: **Roderich has to listen to rock music for an hour! _(steals Will's iPod, sticks the earbuds in Roderich's ears, and puts it on shuffle)_

**Roderich: **_(is completely horrified and begins to go ape-shit crazy around the trailer)_

**Catherine: **Holy SHIT! SOMEONE CATCH THE RABID AUSTRIAN!

**Will and Matthew: **_(tackle him and pin him to the ground as Roderich foams at the mouth)_

**Jax: **What the hell is he listening to!

**Will: **_(checks the iPod) _Metallica.

**Jax: **I like Metallica.

**Catherine: **Apparently, he doesn't.

*An hour later*

**Jax and Catherine: **_(examine the trailer. Selestyna and Owlflight12 are watching Christmas movies even though it's January, Shiko has not woken up, scarletphantom55 is almost glued to Matthew who is sharing pancake tips with Will who is in turn sharing omlet tips, Elizaveta is going through her camera memory, Kiku is sorting through his doujinshi while wearing stripper heels, Gilbert is still only in his boxers and flexing in the mirror, Roderich is in the corner rocking back and forth in a straight jacket, Francis is spilled all over the floor and still liquidized, Alfred and Arthur are taking a long and loud shower, Ludwig and Feliciano are playing out a kinky roleplay in the spare bedroom, Antonio and Lovino are still in the closet doing The Nasty, Yao is lamenting his shorn hair, and Ivan is still pretending he's Latvia with Arnold Schwarzenegger's accent with a popgun)_

**Catherine: **It's a zoo in here.

**Jax: **Yup. And the end of the chapter!

**Catherine: **REALLY!

**Jax: **Yup! Fifty-five Word document pages!

**Catherine: **_(jaw hits the ground)_

**Jax: **Tell me about it.

**Catherine: **You're going to update before Katsucon, right?

**Jax: **Yup! Definitely. Speaking of which, if any of you readers and reviewers are going to Katsucon, we should meet up! Submit your dares in person! Preferably on paper so I don't have to remember everything.

**Catherine: **Just look for a girl cosplaying as Britain or Navi with a nametag or sign saying "Principessa Dell'Opera" on it! She has really short brown hair, probably dyed badly to be blonde.

**Jax: **PM Principessa on FanFiction .Net to get details and tell her how to recognize you!

**Catherine: **Let's all meet at the enormous fountain down in that botanical part of the hotel! Saturday at 11 am! She'll be there for an hour. Her college anime club is even doing a group Hetalia cosplay!

**Jax: **So you know how this goes! Submit truths or dares in a review and stay tuned for the next insane update! The truths or dares can be for anyone! Even Catherine or me!

**Catherine: **Oh dear God.

**Jax: **That's all for now, my friends! Until next time!

**Matthew: **AND I'M CANADA, MOTHER FUCKER! DON'T FORGET IT!

Page Count: 55

Word Count: 14,645


End file.
